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Dang. Guess I gotta step my game up. Thanks
Think of it this way, if someone did the same to your children, how would you feel if they fostered a relationship with their abuser as an adult?
Maybe point out to him that when he wants you to act like his mother, you lose attraction for him? Don't know if that's true for you, but I personally have no interest in being intimate with someone who acts like a child. Is he immature in other ways, or is it this one thing?
This is such a weird hill, OP.
She never said that I was responsible. Its rather me who is seeing her concern and wanting to ensure that she has peace of mind in that respect.
I am not so much in favor of a prenup though.
I get what you're saying, but in every situation where one person wanted a kid and the other didn't – and they have a child that they had previously agreed they did not want, it ends with a whole lot of resentment and pain. In my experience guys like the “idea” of fatherhood and “legacy” but rarely the reality of 24/7 care for 18+ years. I'm know guys that swing that well and you could be that guy! But it doesn't sound like your wife is not at all interested and her reasons are valid.
The resentment can go the other way though – where one person always wishes they had a child but didn't get one. If you're in that camp then you need to take a seriously naked look at yourself and figure out what you want/need. Sounds like you're headed towards therapy and that's a good start. There's plenty of women in their mid/late thirties that want kids and are ready for that. But you absolutely need to lay off your wife on this. The decision to have kids should be 100% on both parties.
Yeah, best case scenario he changed & all good.
Everything else is some variation of his problems resurfacing down the line, with you potentially sharing a mortgage, or some other high level responsibility.
Like if you do want to confront your partner, make sure to look for confirmation that they took therapy for this (and even better if they are still attending). That action shows not just a willingness to change, but the fact that there’s actually some kind of professional system in place to help really facilitate change.
But honestly, a year is not all that much – especially when compared to a whole lifetime with someone. If you do choose to stay & try to sort this out just hold onto that thought, and if a few months from now it starts to look like figuring it all out just isn’t worth the effort then it probably really isn’t.
Thank you kind soul. I’ll update this post to tell everyone what happened. Thank you again for helping me with this rough thing. I really appreciate it
lol guys check OP’s post and comment history where she talks about “left wing assholes” and “BLM terrorists.” she’s either a troll (likely) or her boyfriend isnt invited to events because he’s as terrible as she is, and she’s just invited because they feel like they have to put up with her
You’re wrong.