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Thanks for your comment, really appreciate it. I’ll keep it in mind.
One of the things that bothers me the most is the good life we have together, which will be ending. Her family really likes me, my family really likes her, we do fun things together… but I guess thats not relevant if my feelings have gone down for her, right?
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After several years together I hadn't proposed, my girlfriend would bring it up and I never was excited about the idea. I just didn't… feel it.
Eventually she gave me an ultimatum and I proposed and we married. I felt like she deserved the commitment and I was willing to make it. Long story short, that “feeling” never came. Four years later we were fighting constantly and she was sleeping with another guy. I ended it.
Looking back, I was just always looking forward to what our codependent relationship could become and never thought that what I had was amazing. We both would have been better off of she had just ended it when she saw I wasn't making the leap.
If you plan to marry this guy, do it for who he is, not who he might become. I also don't recommend pressing the issue of marriage, sometimes the worst thing he can do is give you what you want even though he isn't feeling it.
Consider this the best your relationship will ever be, are you excited about that?
My advice is end it. There's no reason he can't grow and your can't take another shot at it sometime in the future, but it's clear that your current strategy isn't getting you where you want to go.
Part of the problem with my relationship was too much figuring out out and talking about it. Too much negotiation and finding a middle road neither of us really liked. Sometimes you need to just act and see what he does.
If you tell him you are ending it, that it isn't his fault and you need to find your way forward on your own, he will either let you go or he will take action of his own. That will tell you all you need to know about what he wants.
Be careful though, when relationships end some guys feel guilty and try to “fix it” to avoid feeling like a failure. This just keeps you in limbo forever.
Decide what you want to do. Do it. Then see what he does.
Good luck.
Thanks, I appreciate it, really.
“Hey, I've noticed that things have felt a little awkward over text for the last week. I wanted to check in to see if everything's okay?”
I don't think you have to ask him directly about being done with it because it's very possible it's not about that at all. But good to make it known that you notice the shift and want to have a conversation about it.