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He's abusive block him from your life
Give him some time. If he doesn't get past it fairly soon, though, he probably never will. Really, there was no reason to tell a more reasonable person about an ancient relationship like the one you described. The main reason to tell a potential partner would have been to weed out someone like him before you got in too deep. What you really need is a time machine, but I guess that's not happening. I hope it does blow over.
“I feel like if he had the option to pick between the two of us, he wouldn’t pick me.” Those are your insecurities taking. They don’t belong to him. In fact, he chose you out of so many more options and choices. The girl that winked at him in the coffee shop. His best friends cousin who had a crush on him. And so many others. But again , he chose you. Are you looking for drama and conflict? Are you trying to manufacture conflict and manipulate us and/or him into telling you how wrong you are? Your job is to figure why you think you shouldn’t have been chosen.
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Also to that end when she was in the country it was the same if not slightly worse
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So, I'm confused. You say in a comment that it's an issue that she looks like a little boy. But in your post you take issue with her pubic and armpit hair, but without those she'd be bare as a little boy.
I think you should do two things. Spend some time in serious introspection about some of this and what your actual issue is. Because again, it's very contradictory both that you want her bare as a child, but take issue with a hairstyle that makes her appear more childlike. Get straight in your mind what exactly you want to address. Because it sounds like you don't like her haircut, and have suddenly decided to take issue with literally everything about her appearance.
Once you're clear with yourself, have a conversation with her. It's both that simple, and that difficult. Maybe she tells you that she hates it. Maybe she tells you to lose her number. But this needs to be worked out, because she deserves someone who finds her attractive, whether that is in your relationship with her or not.
Also of note: her hair might not grow back. She might really love the style and keep it.
Yeah, she's cheating. “I don't want to lose her” I guess in that case you need to come to terms with her sleeping with other men. Also i'd recommend you start using condoms.
Thank you for your input, I really appreciate it.
This kind of demonstrates why I didn't want to put my age on the post, but unfortunately RA auto-removes posts without age and gender tags. I knew everyone would say something like this, “oh you just married way too young”. I won't go into why we married so early but we had very good practical reasons to.
That being said, you're not necessarily wrong. I haven't been truly single since I was 16. And although this is not my first serious relationship, it is only the second serious one, and only the third “real” one in total (I'm not counting middle school 2-day relationships).
You may be right that I just want to experiment because it's not something I've experienced very much at all. But I feel like if that were the case, I wouldn't still feel like I want to be with my husband at the same time? I still love him, and want to be with him. Idk.
If you have any further thoughts please do share, I'm very grateful for any help/advice.
I think the question is how much time you and your wife need to be together to be happy. If she’d be happy to travel overseas without you and you could happily go hunt with your dogs, come together when she returns, I don’t see why it couldn’t work.
My husband and I often travel separately. We don’t always want to go where the other does. Some people find that weird, but it works fine for us. We’re happy.
I also don’t understand keeping your finances so separate after being married for so long, but that’s up to you guys.
You just have to sit down together and talk about what you each want your lives to look like in retirement. Tell her you can’t afford the life she’s described. Ask her what she thinks you should do.
You can look to see when the video was taken even the early phones had time and date stamps thanks to many lawsuits. Now this does question, why now she still has it if from college. But maybe to ger these are just memories that she like “flick the bean”. But now the ball is in your court do you trust her, that this is an old video and how do you handle this.
No.
This is not on you, and he doesn't get to continue to be part of your life.
What he did was a selfish act to hurt you.
Block everyone involved.