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Well said ?
???
You need to ask yourself. Why are women not choosing me? Then become the best version of yourself that you possibly can be.. once you start radiating that out then youll be in a better place mentally and women will then begin to attract your way.
You have to put in the work and the rest will fall in place
Then once things have calmed down, you can let her know that her reaction was very bothersome to you. As she is clearly not over this trauma. (It doesn’t matter whether it was both of their faults, she still experienced it and was traumatized by it). Suggest therapy again because this is still a problem in your current relationship.
If she refuses then you can either stick around and continue to deal with her. It’s been 3 years and this has only happened once. So doesn’t sound like a big deal. Perhaps let her know that you don’t want to hear about him anymore.
Or you can end the relationship
I don’t think this is a huge deal. I can see why you’d be uncomfortable. It was awkward. But she had a tumultuous relationship with him and is still pissed about it. She needs to go complain to her girlfriends about it. Not you. But it’s understandable that seeing his face would throw her mood off.
I understand. I agree that I should stop doing that.
Your reply to that should be to leave, get the car keys and go out for awhile. Get a manicure or something. Perhaps even go stay with a friend. Give him time to stew in his own negativity. Come back when you can act normal again.
That’s a bit harsh. Why block?
wouldn’t the family know by the fact the person was arrested? and if they haven’t been yet… you need to report him to authorities immediately
What you are not entitled to is throwing shit at others because of your own context.
No, anyone is entitled to share their thoughts and opinions with others too. It is insane to think people are requiring to keep mum when they're made to feel uncomfortable.
You are justifying an asshole because a girl is using her biology to her advantage.
What a bizarre claim.
Maybe you can do one of those Amish-type things where you “leave the farm” so you can do all the drugs in the world, then go back to him (if you survive). It's as sensible an idea as listening to your friend.
Acting on pettiness is a really ugly and immature trait and you need to let her know this. This is slander and she can get in legal trouble for it.
I will have to agree with you there. I did think he accepted me as I was when we met. However he’s had very different expectations of me since we moved in together though!! It was really nude at first, but here lately I’ve been coasting and just saying I’m sorry and really taking the time to consider his feelings or how I may have hurt them… I just don’t feel good enough for him anymore and I’m struggling with knowing or understanding if it’s my bad or his.
I’m just tired, can’t I be in a good mood and not have to think about how what I’m doing may or may not piss him off? This happened right before work and here we are 12 hours later and my brain hurts thinking about it.
Also, your fun fact made me laugh!! That’s hilarious!
Honestly, I would girl. I went through this and I’m way happier after I left him. He would be in these types of chats with his friends and honestly those men are the lowest type and you are only letting him drag you down. Find someone who respects women especially you.
A partner that cares about you wouldn't be getting mad at you for not having sex with him, it's likely he isn't doing it in a way that you even can enjoy him – it sounds like he only cares about what he is getting out of it.
You having to be worried about him being so mad at you for not wanting to be physically hurt by him even for sex IS physical and sexual abuse.
Don't be embarassed for not being compatible with a guy that treats you like his plaything.
What can you do? Three options. 1) just let it be and trust your gf. 2) break up with your gf. 3) tell her she can’t talk to him and be a controlling bf. Your pick, but option 3 doesn’t usually end well.
Tell him his ideals aren't ideal.
Brown eyes are lovely. ALL eye colours are!
How about, “OP, it's time to become an adult and fix your own problems so the people around you don't have to try to hold their temper while you whine about how they are fixing your problem”?
Send her a text saying I canceled the trip and that you won’t be seeing her anymore. You can’t afford to maintain the lifestyle she thinks she deserves anymore. Then block her. She probably already has another sugar daddy and will move on quickly if the money has dried up.
Yeah it's totally unhealthy and exhausting. OP clearly doesn't care about his wifes feelings or boundaries. OP's wife doesn't understand the addiction either.
They're clearly not compatible or helping or supporting each other in any way.
OP: like any addiction, chances are you're doing this because of an underlying issue.
Best of luck
That really is a shame – every human being deserves respect. It also seems that we establish our relationship baselines as we grow and the model presented to us by our parents has an outsized impact on what we perceive as “normal”. This is often why those who grew up in abusive relationships fall into them as adults – it feels “normal”. Gaslighting in and of itself indicates deep psychological issues; if she grew up in that environment then it is likely influencing her view of the world.
I wish I could give you more direct advice on what to do… During the past 7 months I have tried to listen a little more and help out where I can. It sounds like your wife is extremely protective of your new child, even to the point of preventing you from assisting. Her past is likely a contributing factor in this; perhaps she is trying to “shield” your child from some trauma she experienced.
If you desire to stay with her then be patient and (in time) see if she would be willing to go to counseling with you. It may have to be framed as something you are doing for yourself.
And hey, go find someone to talk to yourself- we can only control our own actions. Having an objective sounding board might help you process through all this. Therapists and counselors do a lot to help us level-set our position in the world. When we're drowning we can't remember up from down.
You would not exist to me after pulling something like this. Poor girl, I hope she gets out fast and finds someone who would never be so cavalier with her trust and her boundaries.
$100k+ but could only afford something very small on your own?
It was for her. She new this 2.5 years ago and decided now? Seems ridiculous.
Are there other issues besides this, causing relationship strain?
We’ve been dating for about 6 months now
LOL. No wonder why you think he makes you the happiest you’ve ever been. You are so deep into the honeymoon phase (as anyone who has been dating a person this amount of time should feel), that you can’t see the big ass red flag this BOY has.
He is still young and on top of that he is immature, but the mommy issue (taking the place of his dad in the family) yuck!
What are you doing? Leave.
And so totally done mentally, that she can't tell a good idea apart from a shit near suicidal idea.
How often do you guys have fairly intense discussions like this? Couples can vary not only in how they address conflict once it's brought up, but also in what they think needs to be brought up. If you want to “work through” issues that he thinks just should be let go of, or just mentioned in brief, that could potentially be an incompatibility or just a difference in viewpoint. You might also think about if issues could be addressed not as faults or missteps that need to be dissected but simply expressed as needs with positive requests. Most minor issues shouldn't need such an involved discussion, in my opinion. You might also look at how often you talk about what's going well and share positive things with each other.
Or this could just be an issue of semantics, and you're just using the word “fight” in different ways.