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I did not go thru phone ….
Oh my gosh that's such a shitty thing for her to do. I assumed it was only a couple of months and she was just ghosting you for someone else. Not a full on relationship for over 2years.
Block her. Move on. She's not worth your time honestly. I have no idea how someone could ever do that to someone else and not feel like a horrible person.
Oh wow that is crazy
What? How in TF did you extrapolate that from what I said? ?♂️
To me she's saying she feels like crap, so she's not up to sorting out what the 2 of you are to each other. However, she does get that you may not want to wait and see where things go once she feels more together. She also wants to be clear that if you hook up with someone, they aren't a part of her pregnancy or newborn (which is 100% fair. Once the baby is older it's different).
Personally, if you're sure the baby is yours, I would hold off dating for now. Not because you need to commit to her, but because you should focus on preparing for being a father. Be open to supporting her during her pregnancy if she's comfortable with that (birthing classes, baby boot camp, doctors appts, preparing space for baby, etc). It's a few months to just focus on this major life event that should be your primary focus. You also need to set up ypur space for baby and financially and otherwise prepare for it.
Also, consider couples counseling for the 2 of you if she's willing. Even if you don't want to be together, it could lay the groundwork for peaceful coparenting.
Lawyer up, lawyer down, lawyer all around, & stay focused on the things that need to be established after the divorce is finalized; custody, child support, living situation, work, bills, money, back accounts, assets, etc.
She meant it, she just thought you would go along with it. I would t trust that this wouldn’t come up again in the future. If this is your boundary, then Just move on. Ex had a reason she asked and I doubt anything has changed, only now she knows you won’t along with it.
My boyfriend and I haven’t been together very long.
Our whole relationship my boyfriend has made it very clear that cheating is 100% a dealbreaker.
Let this be YOUR dealbreaker. You've barely started dating him, he tries to act as if he has high morals and standards, he uses the 'cheating is a dealbreaker' as a way to keep you in line and he goes out and does exactly that. He isn't trustworthy, which is why you will never be able to rebuild trust with him. He is manipulative, using you, emotionally stunted and playing games. Do not fall for his “oh, I'm so saaaaad. I can't believe I messed up' routine. It is an act.
1) YES absolutely. i would want to know
2) just wanna make sure you’re safe / no retaliation from the man. if you feel safe and comfortable, absolutely do it!
PSA to all: i would always want to know if i’m being cheated on and i would have nothing but love and appreciation for anyone who told me! ☺️
I'll get ripped apart for this. This example is just another one for the vault of why men shouldn't/aren't able to be emotionally vulnerable with their girlfriends/wives. Women dry up when actually encountered with it regardless of how society tries to tell men to me more vulnerable. They don't know what to do with male vulnerability – they shut down.
It was very selfish of your bf to keep this from you for an entire year.. that’s not fair.
I’d understand the fear of rejection and hesitation in telling someone new at the start of a new relationship but lying about it for an entire year is low.
You’ve taken it very well considering but just remember you have every right to feel uncomfortable or however you want to feel about this – take a break to figure out how you both feel before proceeding
Do they understand love between mommy and daddy?
That's sexual assault. You didn't cheat.
It reminds me of a paragraph in Lundy's “Why does he do that?” abusive-victim bible. It's about guys who smash stuff when they're angry. The victims actually think it's because their abusers can't control themselves when they are in a rage – and then Lundy asks: “Is he destroying his own possessions, too, or just your possessions?”
And then the poor woman realizes that the guy is completely in control, and just smashing her prized belongings, to hurt her and take away everything she cherishes. Yes, abusers are that calculating.
Oh dear god this! Can I please upvote this again?
Twenty years ago found out the “rent” issues my ex was having were actually gambling issues and he had stolen 40K from his job. I did call off the wedding.
I feel like anniversaries are the one time you can truly show someone how much they mean to you.
my partner shows me this weekly if not daily :\
Red flags and I’d nope on out.
She's the type of girl who will run over his systems with her car when he's playing at the wrong time or not doing what she wants.
I completely agree with you, I dont think ill be able to go near that guy without some restraint ever again because of how sick he is. I would definitely consider counselling but Im not sure how open she would be to it although Ive definitely thought about it. Thank You