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Okay so.. Its just a theory but.. did he specify what would happen during the 3some?
Because the fact that he said you could pick the girl, even an unatractive one is weird, except if what he is thrilled about is not to have sex with another girl, but maybe to see you and the girl act on each other.
Now it doesnt make it more acceptable. Of course. But it might help you answer your questions at the end.
You got married too young. Get out now while you have no kids and you’re still young
I think the nannycam may be a good idea since OP’s husband can’t seem to tell the truth or answer a simple question
it's because most men are incapable of seeing women as human beings and not sex objects to fantasize over the second they're being somewhat friendly to them
That's what it feels like to me
This isn't about the writing, this is about CONTROL.
He has very carefully manipulated a sequence of events where you rely on him for your stability and emotional wellbeing, so that any time he feels the need for a power play, he can reduce you to a sobbing mess by withdrawing that support, causing you to beg for his reassurance.
He feels that control, that power over you, slipping away as you become stronger and more independent. THAT is why he is letting his anger show, to cow you and make you want to please him.
THIS IS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. Consolidate your finances, and make a plan to leave. Even if you feel you can't break it off immediately, even if you aren't ready to make a decision, quietly make an emergency plan – just in case. This isn't going to get better. It always escalates.
Maybe he wants to play golf ?
Buy yep, he needs to get over himself