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It's the latter part. Things have been crystal clear since the beginning and we've been in the same page without even trying. Thank you
You guys weren't even friends – you were in the same study group. She's noteworthy to you because she's your only female friend, but who are you to her? You guys clearly don't spend time alone together socially because otherwise you would have been able to segue into that from there instead of in the study group.
You cannot offer her anything substantial – you are not able to even humanize her. Being your FWB is not a job title you created – when people are important to each other they negotiate what that means together instead of creating a role for people to audition to.
You have never even tried to gauge her interest or interact with her like an actual friend. You don't know what's important to her, what her values are or anything. And the only information she has about you now is that you think she's attractive enough to hook up with but are very disinterested in her as a person. That's not a friend. You are not friends, you two were at best friendly in a group setting.
And incidentally, just for future reference, every single time I've had a FWB relationship it always began with a cup of coffee and expressing interest in each other as people and being able to be friends outside of the hookups. You were not offering to be FWB, you were offering her sex with someone who has no experience or interest in her as a person. It would be guaranteed to be disappointing to her, because at least one of those things are key to having a good sexual experience with someone. And it might even be unsafe for her, because again, she doesn't know you or trust you because you are not friends.
I know some couples and come back from a cheating tener and work through it and it takes a lot of work, time, therapy and communication but for me that’s the cardinal sin.
Once a partner cheats the vows are irrevocably broken and the marriage is null and void in my eyes. To me there is no working through that.
My mom's like this. We (everyone in the house) don't engage and she eventually stops then ignores everyone. And yes, this happens when she doesn't get her way. I know exactly how you feel and it's noticeable when it's done for attention.
Therapy. Both of you go to therapy.
She needs to get to the details what's been so horrible. But my hope is she does it in a VERY CONSTRUCTIVE MANNER. Has your job consumed you? Did you stop giving her attention? Are you glued to the phone 24-7? Did you stop being Romantic and stop giving her compliments?
Again, we don't know but these questions are important and you need to know what was the last straw for her.
Perhaps she's distant because she did in fact suffer a break up and misses the other guy ?
Jfc. Which adult in your life taught you this was acceptable when you were a child? Someone destroyed your self respect/worth and it’s an absolute tragedy.
Because apparently he’s the last man on earth and he’s so wonderful except for this one detail. /s I’m so sick of reading these. Are the choices for men so few that women think they need to tolerate this? It’s exhausting.