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Get a job. Any job. Even part time or minimum wage for now just for you to have some income while you look for another architect job if that's what you want to do. If you have any savings you can move out?
Break up with your partner then – if you already think your differences are too much to overcome and you will resent them if you stay – leave. But make sure to get your logistics in order too. Make sure you have somewhere to stay and such.
I am getting treatment for my anxiety. I have had anxiety for many years before meeting him.
I am pressed on time, money and time for myself do to kids and school.
I really crave at bit more time to do things I need or want, from more sleep and books to just generelly activities, that make me happy.
That doesn't mean, I have to go look for an extra lover so feel good about myself. I can manage without complicate my life, hurt ny SO and destabilize my childrens life.
Some things are just a two yes, one no. If you two can't agree about that, do you need to document stuff. Mayby talk to a lawyer for options, if you can't find a way to communicate and problem solve this situation with your wife.
Good luck.