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She doesn’t seem to care because she probably doesn’t. She cares about k-pop. So one positive from the event is you realized she is this way and is most likely not your life partner.
Listen i know i may bet blasted for this but ive always been the “my house my rules. If you dont like feel free to move out” type person. Now saying that this be home by 10pm is and overreaction. Your 20. You are fully capable of taking care of yourself and if it's just a shes gonna worry thing. Thats on her. Let her know when youll be home but that could be anytime lol
I've dealt with your situation. I will not mistreat my children's mother to make someone else more comfortable. That said, that relationship needs more and stricter boundaries when you have a partner. Open phone policy and you have to let your ex know that if it's not about parenting, she should not do it. Ignoring it works sometimes but she should not be sending it.
GF needs to chill and accept that you have to coparent. It's not always going to be perfect where she can police your thoughts and speech, but she should have input on boundaries. That you initiated the divorce is an Ace for sure.
Finally, you need to come to peace with the idea that you may not be successful dating until your boy leaves home, but even then this kinda stuff is still going to come up.
Finally someone here who thinks straight. If he’s 32 and isn’t able to properly communicate, you’re absolutely doing the right thing. Playing mind games and trying to guess what someone else is thinking is immature and reminds me of high school relationships. You dodged a bullet.