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I’m sorry for this. I’m sorry and sick the world is the way it. Often the people we love and cherish the most can do the most heinous things. My mother was assaulted by her father and raped by her brother. It wasn’t until I started dating that I realized how widespread sexual abuse of women is. I think currently they say 1/4 women will experience some level of sexual assault over their lifetime… it’s just awful.
You never have to see that man again. There is no gray area here, I’m glad you didn’t get to a level of intoxication that would have made you vulnerable to his actions. It’s also not unreasonable to believe you aren’t the first member of your family to have been targeted by your grandfather. If you have cousins or other relatives you cannot defend themselves it wouldn’t be wrong for you to share this experience with your family
A gift is a gift. They can do what they want with it. Maybe you suck at picking out gifts? Idk
i never said i thought she was innocent i said implying that homeless or poor people are more likely to be shitty people is classist
I think it depends on the amount and the person.
I inherited over 100k and put it towards a house, car and renovations. My husband never asked for any of it, the money sits in my own account, but I still use it for our joint items/expenses. He had a mass of savings at one point and has done the same. I feel we have a reasonable balance.
It wouldn't hurt to look at the laws in your area and protect yourself though if you're concerned.
Ok here's my mom's story in a nutshell.
She married my stepdad. He best her up the first time a couple months after. Like your girl, something set him off, an argument, etc.
Months go by. Peace. He's a good guy. On the surface.
Next big conflict: abuse.
Every big conflict thereafter: abuse.
She kept it hidden twenty years. It was only a few times a year, right? They got along so well otherwise.
Because she was avoiding conflict at all costs…
He got dementia and tried to murder my mom with a pickaxe. He died alone in jail.
This exactly. You feel weird because you feel like you’re less than a person to him, which you are. He thinks being nice to you should equal sex for him. That’s gross.
My comment is pointing out that women suffer from this unfair thing. Your response is essentially “men have it bad too! Look how it sucks for them!” While sexism affects all genders in different ways, I do still think women are much more disadvantaged (6x is much higher than 1.75x after), and I respectfully reject your notion of balance and the implications behind it
But it hasn't been 20 years and OP is not in love. They're 8 months in…not much to lose at that point. It's literally not the same thing. I'm in a long term relationship and we've had our rough patches; I'm still very much in love. But by the time we'd had these issues, we had something worth fighting for and weren't a mere 8 months in. If the problems we had would've taken place 8 months into the relationship we absolutely would've broken up.
And yeah, I'd still replace the vase. Unless it holds some sort of sentimental value, it was only meant to be used until it couldn't be anymore.