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Hi thank you for replying but he is avoiding me at all costs and i wouldn't let make myself look funny by looking desperate asking him for just a normal conversation
The guy wasn’t friendship material at all, based on his line. Why would you want to be a wingwoman for someone like that? (Perhaps you were just humoring him). If you had a friendship how would you go about that, with him starting the way he did? It sounds a bit like you want to build up a harem of flatterers, as well as having your boyfriend in the pocket.
Do not move in with him and keep your birds.
He is acting like a giggling schoolgirl with a crush. And from your post history, he sounds like an excessively horny and weird bastard who gets obsessed over every girl that shows him 1 ounce of attention. This would be more normal behavior for a 13 year old boy going through the midsts of puberty…. but a 34 year old man? He's never going to change at this point. He is going to turn into one of those old creeps chasing 20 year old tail in a few years time. Dump the guy and let him obsess over 100+ other women. Unfortunately he doesn't view you as special if he gets so attached to other women, but there's another guy out there who will view you as special and treat you well.
UPDATE: I agree I should have included the Arab thing in the post because i feel like maybe people would have different comments if i did. Anyway, yesterday after reading these comments, I tried to talk to him about some of these things. I asked him about if he’s serious about me and also why he has not invited me to events. He said he has never got an invitation that allowed a plus-one and that he cant just bring me to events where people don’t know me. I asked him if I was going to get invited to his really close friend/cousins wedding (who I actually met 2x) and he said he doesnt know… I asked if he would be able to be in a long term relationship with me if his mum didn’t like me and she said he didnt know. I asked if his mum liked me from that one time we met and he said he didnt know but that she didnt dislike me. Then I asked about the cameras and he said its because his mum is very nosy and she would be watching the cameras the whole time. And I asked about hanging on weekdays and he said he just needs some alone time after a long day of work and the gym and his long commute both ways. We ended up in a massssive fight where he just shut down and now we havent talked since then. But now I feel like some of his justifications make sense….
Other option, give childless wife the child and both of them dump the guy
Grief isn't an excuse to be a terrible person. Honestly, I don't even know why she's with you. From the start you told her she'd never be as good as your dead wife. Now she isn't allowed to do normal things with your kids because it reminds you of her? Get therapy. If I were her I'd dump you. You're not remotely ready to date.
I see that’s the reason why people are taking her side. It’s obvious.
What’s concerning is that people are just glancing over the fact she LIED and wasted her ex partners time.
If this was a contract which a relationship is she entered the contract based on lies and wrong promises. Sure the ex slept with her and then broke it off. How can we be sure that’s all he wanted to do? He appears to be very patient in her story. Maybe he just changed his mind on the whole thing once post nut clarity hit him? The whole relationship(contract) was faulty from the beginning and he stuck around because of her lies