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Not normal. He wants to be anonymous? Even a year in? That is super weird.
She didnāt know until this morningā¦ She wanted to prove nothing happened so she texted him and thatās when he said about gauging where they were at etc. I just feel like you shouldnāt have to go out to gauge feelings unless she was actually giving him that type of attention
INFO Can you please clear up a few things to make it easier to give reasonable advice?
I think time does matter in this case but this sounds confusing. She cancelled two days before the date, then you ignore her for one day and lie about the reason, then two days ago you ask her about her plans for the day of the date ā¦ So was the day you asked her about her plans the actual day of the date and thus the next day after you ignored her and then lied about the reason? Has she been at her friends since yesterday or only today?
How dry are we talking? It does make a difference whether youāve only been short or also rude/bitter.
What have you tried so far? It does make a difference whether you actually tried to apologize or just sent random videos hoping sheāll ignore your behaviour.
ah okay, thats good to hear
Iām sorry but if my current partner was still hung up on an ex I also would be upset and not want to be with them? How is this on op at all? Clearly his gf still has feelings for the ex, clearly the reason the gf and ex broke up is because HE didnāt want to marry HER – which is valid , no one should be forced to marry anyone. That said, itās been 4 years- if she hasnāt recognized that the reason her last relationship failed was because the man didnāt want to MARRY HER (for whatever reason) and is still hung up on it to the extent of going MIA and needing āspaceā then she needs some therapy and if I was op I would be out of that relationship so fast. You shouldnāt have to āthinkā about being with someone- you either love them or you donāt, if you need space to think about an ex and how they clearly didnāt love you while also being in a completely different committed relationship then you need therapy and are not ready to move onto to a new relationship. Itās not fair to op. His gf is clearly still not over her exā¦ and yeah it definitely sucks to realize someone you love doesnāt love you, but then get therapy and work on yourself BEFORE getting in a committed relationship with someone else- itās definitely not fair to op.
Are you asking if you should deny your feelings, push them down, ignore them? No. Not ever. You can simultaneously have feelings about something, and recognize that it might also be forgivable. The most important thing is that you allow your feelings to be present and process/grieve them.
I meanā¦ itās clear that the best solution here is therapy. Get OP help on how to deal with his historical traumatic events but how help on how to deal with abuse in the future. Isnāt that what therapy is for? Is the first step to acknowledge that somethings wrong?
Yea Iād you guys agreed to be saving x amount of money for a house and he just blew through that without telling you thatās a big red flag. Also if heās opening packs then heās burning money not investing
Phew good thing David Bowie is dead. Unless your husband is into dead bodyās.
We had a six hour long conversation about the hole situation. I know every little disgusting detail. I know why, how, where, how long and so on.