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Has sex even not been painful? As in specific instances or with other people?
Honestly if my bf was gone 60% of the time and upon his return told me I need to cut off a friend that I've already established boundaries with, I'd bail too.
Why is this downvoted so much? It’s a good question
I would also consider therapy. You just went through something traumatic, and you need help dealing with it. No shame there. I watched my older cat suffer surprise seizures and die quite suddenly, with other trauma in there I still have trouble talking about, and he died in my arms on the way to the vet. I never got therapy for it and it’s fucked me up to this day.
Actually, that’s on my list of things to talk about in therapy now that the more imminent pressing issues have been discussed, to try and process everything there.
But I really recommend therapy. Because even my event was traumatic, and it was “natural” and not a beloved pet killing another beloved pet.
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When I was a younger man, I moved in the “alt” circles, played in a punk and metal bands, went to underground shows and all that stuff. On the other hand, I never really looked like the standard “alternative” guy. I just wore regular clothes and didnt do anything crazy to my hair.
And let me tell you, the amount of shit I got for it was unreal. I was constantly sideeyed and o outright mocked for being a “normie” or whatever the fuck. Turns out, the punk alternative crowd is prejudiced as fuck. They preach tolerance and acceptance of everyone, but realisticly speaking, i've never once met a group of people who were less inclusive and fixated on looks and “attitude” than they were. Dont have torn jeans and a leather jacket? Fuck you. Dont have a certain kind of haircut? Fuck you. You ate at mcdonalds? Fuck you. I got shit on for playing my instrument too well.
And this was the attitude of teenagers AND 30-40yo people as well. In fact, the older they were, the worse it was. They are like perpetual manchildren who never grow up.
In conclusion, the alt crowd is full of elitism, prejudice and just general assholes. You would be wise to stay away from them, since you are a 30yo woman who presumably knows better.
What does he say when you bring it up?
Take it from someone married for 20 years. Sex definitely matters – especially being on the same wavelength, sexually. If you're not there at these beginning stages of your relationship, it's only going to get harder (well ?). Don't commit yourself to a lifetime of frustration.
really not a big deal at all. I promise you.