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From a purely technical perspective the vagina gets longer when the woman is fully aroused. It's called “tenting.” So if youre not into it, it's more likely to hurt. The cervix may also be in slightly different position depending where you are in your cycle. Or it could be something like PCOS.
From a practical perspective this guy is not someone you should be having sex with. He sounds like he gets off on badly hurting you or best case scenario doesn't care. Either way its a bad situation.
I mean, at the end of the day she did you a favor! However, I wouldn't continue any type of relationship with her. I'm it hurt to hear that, but I'd rather be hurt that way instead of hurt the other way.
All those things sound like completely different issues than the one in your post. It seems like you might've latched onto this friend non-issue as a bit of a misdirect from the actual issues in your marriage.
I'm sorry, that's rape
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This is manipulative abuse in my book. Makes me wonder if she has some low level mental health issues or is she is just openly being manipulative.
Tell her you love her, and love your child. Tell her you feel awful that the situation is what it is, but you don't want to risk your marriage and a stable loving home for your current child to have another one.
This isn't a “grin and bear it” time, this is “should we take a VERY big risk of divorce?”
Then think about if she's willing to risk divorce for another child, how invested is she in your current marriage and family?
F
You know he is a true textbook narcissist, and he says hateful, mean things to you, and blames you for everything, and he completely ghosts you when he’s out of town.
But WHY are you putting up it? He has shown you how unimportant you are to him. How many more times does he have to show you, before you finally find your self-respect?
The one who has to change here is you. YOU have to say enough is efuckingnough. Because he is who he is, and you will never change him.
To begin with “I can't really make it. How about next week?” doesn't sound as if you are being played. It sounds as if he genuinely wanted to and needs to reschedule.
Having sex and then kind of disappearing, however, doesn't sound great to me.
So, there is one green flag and one…yellow-ish towards red flag?
I guess you have to decide on if you believe in the green flag, or if the red flag still stings enough that you feel that he cannot be trusted.
You can say “that’s for the offer but its not something you can take her up on”
Or answer in a jokey way like I have in the past “Thanks for the offer but I’d turn to dust walking through the door which would be no fun for anyone”
You need a new man. They have obviously done more than hugged. You know you must go, cause you know Iron Man marries and has a kid with Pepper Potts right? They had a secret relationship until Thanos showed up. I mean come on.