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It’s a scam
I don't think its my commitment issues so much as the person who I'd want to settle with and the person who I'd want to spend the weekend with are two very different people, and I don't think we'd be compatible for the former. Regardless it does feel like a frog-in-boiling-water situation.
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Move the cat food?
She is absolutely irresponsible for putting the cats in danger but it seems like a losing battle. Moving the cat food away from the dresser seems like a logical answer.
With the extra information you are giving in the comments it honestly sounds like it would be best if you get a job and slowly start planning your safe escape for yourself and the kids. It sounds like you’re in a very, very nude situation, and doing the best you can.
The fuck it is not. If you can't trust your partner to be faithful, then you don't have a relationship.
no, you know why? Because I come from a culture where parents try to help their kids no matter what and they treat them equally no matter the age. My mom would have never went on a trip without inviting me, it doesn’t matter whether or not I didn’t like the place she was going to, she would have still invited me.
Breaking up would be less hassle
That's a big thing to omit.
She needs therapy, not a boyfriend. Ruuuuuun
See it this way: you’re both in the same boat. You both had to marry someone you’re not in love with and you’re both miserable (yes she’s miserable too, she’s not showing it to you because she was taught that all her life). So be a team instead. Talk about it openly and decide to be friends. You can stay married as friends for now. Also talk to her about changing countries if that’s something she would like to do (and that you would like to do as well). But when you do obviously expect resistance from your families and even a cut to your inheritance. It’s a decision that eventually you’ll both have to make.
Good luck!