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We have a long engagement. We don’t plan on marriage until 3+ years. I am focused on stopping my overthinking because my mother, my sister, and even my grandmother have all said I’m running myself to the ground -and him- by my overthinking. But I’m not quite sure how to stop it or how to help my bf out with my anxiety too
Look up love bombing. It's a classic technique used by controlling people, and it works because you go through extreme emotions and the feeling of relief and feeling special works. It works especially well after they've made you feel like shit to begin with.
Like how half the posts are about personal hygiene! My god I can’t believe the amount of women who date men who don’t brush their teeth or wipe their ass properly!
It's really on you to make that decision. We don't know a lot of things that might impact this.
If she makes you a better person, to me that's a strong sign of a keeper. Your praise of her in the first part makes me think you see that, too.
I know you said she runs at conflict, but can you discuss this with her? You can work it out, without being confrontational. There's a lot that can be compromised here. Most of it seems to stem from her workaholic behavior. You could try to put a hot stop on work after 7 or 8 or whatever else that gives you pause.
Plan some things for her to cut loose a little and relax. She's probably been laser-focused on her career path, she's not actually enjoying life. She makes you more work centric, so use your influence to make her a bit more fun centric.
Try some deep discussions and see if this is something that you can fix before you just let her go. If that doesn't work, you know you did your best and she's just not the right one for you.
Monthly solo vacations are fine when you are single or not serious. They're not okay when a kid is involved.
My dad goes on hunting trips once or twice a month. He's been doing it for literal decades. My mom never once complained. In fact, she actively encourages my dad to do so. She helps him pack and then helps him butcher the meat he brings back on these trips. Sometimes he'd go alone or sometimes he goes with his buddies.
I mentioned this was my dad and my mom. This means there are kids involved.
If my mom ever needed to go away by herself for a bit, she was also welcome to do so and my dad would stay home.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a partner going away solo for a while. In fact, it's so healthy.
It's called trust and communication.
I'm so confused with the comments saying that he's in the wrong, am I missing something?
He offered for all 3 of them to sit down and talk about this, which would be the best option so they can all discuss boundaries and be open with each other. He's allowed to be friends with the opposite gender. They were all friends before this. Why is it okay for the GF to say to cut the BFF off? That's not very nice.
Forget it. Give her a legal 30 day move out notice, then avoid her like the plague. Do you really want someone obviously emotionally immature living in your house. What is she going to accuse you of next? Maybe not something as beneign. Get her out quickly!