Nothing to do or say really. The anxiety fades eventually. But I understand, itās not a pretty feeling. This is one of those ātime heals allā situations.
I totally get the point you're trying to make, but you haven't taken culture into consideration. There is no co-dependency in collectivist (ie most Asian) culture. OP's struggle comes in part because she is part of 2 cultures. If she was solely from her country (UK) individualistic culture then she probably wouldn't be struggling with the question because she could just leave. If she was solely from her mother's collectivist culture then she probably wouldn't be struggling with the question because she could just stay.
OP, there is no easy answer to your question. If I were in your shoes I would talk to my sister first. How does she feel about it? If she wants mom to on-line with her then there isn't really a problem. Also how close are you to your plans? Are either of you in committed relationships? There is no use in borrowing tomorrow's problems today – it'll just make you suffer twice. On the other hand if this is keeping you from traveling this summer, it's time to make some plans. Once you and your sister are on the same page, it's time to talk to your mom. Can a compromise be found? Maybe y'all agree to on-line on the same street, but in separate house? Maybe she lives with you 3 months, and your sister 3 months? This is going to be really, really hot for your mother, so be kind, listen to her side, and be open to compromise.
So you discussed it, both decided monogamous, and now she is changing her mind.
So either sheās lied to you your entire relationship, to try to get you āhookedā so she could introduce it later and basically have her cake (you) and eat it too (sex with anyone who walks past)
Or she has realised that what she wanted at the beginning is no longer what she needs.
Unfortunately unless you are wanting to open the relationship, and have a non monogamous relationship with her both options end the same way – the end of the relationship.
So you act like his mother and donāt have sex with him and wonder why he wants to fuck other peopleā¦.
The thing is Iām a weirdo and for years the only porn Iābe watched is stuff that weāve made together. I get what you mean, though.
Nothing to do or say really. The anxiety fades eventually. But I understand, itās not a pretty feeling. This is one of those ātime heals allā situations.
I totally get the point you're trying to make, but you haven't taken culture into consideration. There is no co-dependency in collectivist (ie most Asian) culture. OP's struggle comes in part because she is part of 2 cultures. If she was solely from her country (UK) individualistic culture then she probably wouldn't be struggling with the question because she could just leave. If she was solely from her mother's collectivist culture then she probably wouldn't be struggling with the question because she could just stay.
OP, there is no easy answer to your question. If I were in your shoes I would talk to my sister first. How does she feel about it? If she wants mom to on-line with her then there isn't really a problem. Also how close are you to your plans? Are either of you in committed relationships? There is no use in borrowing tomorrow's problems today – it'll just make you suffer twice. On the other hand if this is keeping you from traveling this summer, it's time to make some plans. Once you and your sister are on the same page, it's time to talk to your mom. Can a compromise be found? Maybe y'all agree to on-line on the same street, but in separate house? Maybe she lives with you 3 months, and your sister 3 months? This is going to be really, really hot for your mother, so be kind, listen to her side, and be open to compromise.
So you discussed it, both decided monogamous, and now she is changing her mind.
So either sheās lied to you your entire relationship, to try to get you āhookedā so she could introduce it later and basically have her cake (you) and eat it too (sex with anyone who walks past)
Or she has realised that what she wanted at the beginning is no longer what she needs.
Unfortunately unless you are wanting to open the relationship, and have a non monogamous relationship with her both options end the same way – the end of the relationship.