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The other woman is not OPs friend though. They don’t know each other. OP will be a stranger trying to tell this girl something she doesn’t want to hear. OP doesn’t owe anyone anything here, except to keep herself safe and sane.
I’m sorry you were cheated on. That sucks and people in your life who knew and should have been looking out for you failed you. But that’s not a direct comparison here.
I wouldn’t say so because wants and needs changed over time, and it’s up to you both to withhold your own boundaries as well as each other’s. Making a contract loses the authenticity and genuineness of figuring things out with each other.
Why should you bring work home? Work is work, home is home, even if your working with animals.
I don’t know how savvy you are with PCs but you could check the date of when those photos were saved. It’s creepy af either way but if it started before you got together then that’s even worse.
Time to cook and meal prep together. Find things she likes to eat that are healthy and then make plates and keep them in the fridge, then make sure there's lots of water and get rid of soda and other unnecessary sugar and high calorie food. Then find activities to do together that aren't working out but walking around a dog park, window shopping, swimming, find physical activities you both can do for fun.