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Your father really really needs to write his will out. It will save you a lot of drama and pain assuming your brother is already trying to making moves right now to undermine you.
While shutting her down when she talked to you about it wasn’t the kindest thing to do, she should not be depending on you to manage her mental health issues. Also, bringing it up when she did was part of the sabotage. She chose a bad time so she could avoid having a difficult discussion about it and also play the “victim” for not being heard. She was also putting it on you to either ensure that she didn’t ruin her own birthday or take the blame when she did.
I have a mom that sabotages every holiday, birthday, and family event, and I can tell you from decades of experience that there is nothing that you can do on her birthday that will preempt the meltdowns. If you had given her a card from your toddler son (which is an absurd demand, btw) and told her happy birthday the moment she woke up, she would have found something else to be upset about. You can’t be perfect enough to avoid the meltdown because having a meltdown is the whole point for her.
This will get worse over time and affect your son if you don’t put very hot boundaries in place now. For example, you will not celebrate her birthday again until she seeks therapy for this issue, and/or you will take your son to do some other activity the minute she starts complaining about her birthday, etc.