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You are overthinking this. You are indulging a deep thread of insecurity. Did you know he was with other people before you? If so, why are you this concerned with blatant evidence that he was, in fact, with other people before you?
It's not my intention to put you down or disregard how you feel. I mean to say, if you love him so much, and he is your best friend, then you suddenly feeling “turned off” or “not attracted” to him anymore.. well, it sounds like a You problem. I know this sounds unkind, but it isn't meant to be.
Be who you are, as you are, let go of your jealousy and insecurities, and go love your best friend. The one who is with YOU. Not his ex.
You are a momma's boy through and through and your wife's finally realised that it will never change and you will continually disrespect her by allowing disrespect towards her.
My SOs family did the same. He also did it get it at first. I tried to explain how it happens, mostly covert, always microaggressions and now way to “prove it”. I told my partner I won't accept being disrespected and dealing with it by “dealing with it”. I will leave for my own sanity and I did. When I left his family's vicinity he saw what they tried to do, made my pregnancy about his infertile sister, etc. Now he has no contact with them. He listened to me and responsed to protect me. You didn't even listen. All you do is complain like a child.
And she CARRIED those children and made them with her own body and now she is supposed to accept the people who treated her like crap to be around her kids?
Expect to be divorced soon.
This will get worse. Leave him. Then block him everywhere. He will try to guilt you back by saying stuff like “but don't you miss my family?”
I went through this with my first sons bio dad. He did just what your bf did. I stayed. Then he REALLY started hitting me. I left after he hut me when I was pregnant and I realized he would hit my kid too. No way I was having that.
You deserve so much better. Please leave your bf. Have family help or call someone at a womens shelter to help if you are scared. No one should ever, ever touch you unless it is with your full, enthusiastic consent.
constantly reminds me that it’s not her fault and that she doesn’t do anything for attention
Huh, very defensive
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Outside of video games and sex, what do you do as a couple? See if you can get back to basics on go on some dates together (for example to a theme park, zoo or a castle), it sounds like you're getting into a bit of a rut.
Also, have a word with him about stress management, many people who get hooked on games use it a a form of escapism for the mind (but it's obviously not healthy if it becomes an addiction).
Thanks for your comment. One of the current issues is that the landlord has super specific requirements on lease terms that means we would have to stay for exactly another year. One of my wife's major issues with this place is that the landlords are truly awful human beings. She can't stand them and dealing with them. We also online a little further from her Widow mother who lives alone and we wanted to be closer to take better care of her. (It also would mean her mom could watch our pets so we could take a vacation, we never got a formal honeymoon due to this.)
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Your second half really has me thinking though. You're not wrong for sure. The added costs on me would be about $900/mo and I have a hopeful performance review coming up next month that might balance that out. She would have to be okay with staying. Maybe I should look into apartments locally that are closer to her mom. I want to talk to her about that and what it would mean.
Sure! I really appreciated all the advice! Sometimes it helps to get outside perspectives when I’m too in my head about even minor things.
So I tried to ask him about his health and if he might have something else that’s making him louder. That did not go well, lol. Lots of insistence that he wasn’t extra sick, just the usual amount.
So I focused on him covering his mouth, along with my daughter.
He was not happy when I would remind him, there was a bit of eye rolling, but he started to do it more. He also started getting quieter after I did that. While we were sick he also decided that he should sleep in his office so we can both get more sleep. This is something we’ve done before so it’s not a bad thing.
Every once in a while he clears his throat loudly enough to be startling, but it’s a lot less. I’ll continue to nag the family as we continue to cycle through daycare colds.