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I'm in a weird position because I can't be hurt by her telling me the truth, but I believe she's holding back to “protect” me – and the other person involved
As others mentioned here, she’s most likely not holding back to protect you. I think she’s holding back so that you won’t look at her for the ugliness that she is.
With all that has been happening, I’m concerned about your situation here. First of all, I believe that it’s not okay to lie to cover a person’s cheating, especially when you are among the people who are affected the most by it. At this point you don’t owe it to her to lie for her, especially when she’s been lying to you.
I’d suggest to keep copies of all the evidence you’ve collected of her cheating, where she can’t get her hands on. You need to let people know why you stopped your efforts for reconciling and are breaking up. You now know that she’s not above lying. So, it’s possible that she may lie some more and let people know that you’ve been very abusive, that you were the cheater etc.
I share most of your partner's views when it comes to marriage and proposals, maybe you should allow him to be free to find someone who won't resent him for who he is. And you can find yourself a good match as well, instead of forcing this relationship to work just because you want it so bad
This is the thing that I don't understand.
When I met my now wife, I told her right off the bat that I watched porn and did recreational drugs. I said if either of those are a problem, I'm not the guy for you (obviously with reasonable limitations).
We're happily married over 11 years now with three kids.
Talk with your program advisors and dean if you need to go that route.
It's normal to struggle, college is tough so it's not that you aren't smart, it's that the work load is so much over what you get in high school.
I'm really sorry your mom isn't there for you the way a parent should be, that makes things a lot harder. Just know that her response does not reflect poorly on you, but on her. She lacks character to do this. Being a parent doesn't stop at 18.
Lol well this screams troll but I'll play along, more than likely she'll have replaced you by the end of the year but enjoy your “victory” I guess you're young so doubt this will have an impact on her
I'm proud of you for not letting him run you around, I think you really dodged a bullet with this guy!
And that’s a flaw in YOU. Not her
Wtf if I had a sister that behaved like that, she'd be toast, sister/best friends of any worth don't pull the sort of shit she did
I’d forgive him anything he showed true remorse for,
Why? Based on the description of your marriage it's been miserable and he treats you like crap.. What's to save? Face in the community or the church? Imagine waking up every day not sharing a home with a cheater who has lied to you for years and treated you worse than the affair partner.
Hire a Private investigator, get your ducks in a row, and when you have solid evidence proceed with divorce so you can live! a dignified life.
I am awful at setting boundaries and while I got better at it, it’s still a difficult thing for me. I feel like I need to consider his emotions as well and not just my own, even if it’s my past. But I don’t know if I think that way because for 7 years I was in an abusive relationship and learned to not have a voice at all, or if it is actually right to accept and understand his emotions in this as well.
Screaming and self harming in front of an infant is absolutely outrageous behavior. Not acceptable.
First and foremost, the parents acted abominably. They couldn’t try to mask their shock? The homophobia was real and it would take some time to for SIL to ever feel safe around them.
Yes it may have turned out better if she’d prepared them beforehand (but I doubt it!) but she was probably afraid to face them alone with this news. That said, SIL was not in any way wrong here.
As for your husband, their homophobic rant was appropriate? Your gay brother is not “blood”? I guess they don’t care if he burns in hell.
That was a pretty ugly scene and I hope your children are too young to understand what was being said.
I’m very sorry for your SIL & her SO.