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He views you as a good friend he wants to have you around and wants mother of her kids. Possibly a status as a successful married man is also important to him. But he is not into monogamous relationship. You can't accept this. You two are done. As for kids…
I'd start separate bedrooms for now and start exploring new relationships, try to move on (open with him about it). Disengage from him emotionally. See where that takes you. Especially given your kids have only so much time left with you and you'll soon be empty nesters. If you find happiness with someone else, or if emotional disengagement under the same roof will be impossible to execute, then break the household.
Do all of this openly with him, try to salvage friendship. It will make it easier for kids too. Seems like he cares about you, and been mostly open with you, just monogamous/poli split is beyond reconciliation.
Is your advicevto men similar? If they're with a low libido partner, or someone with a responsive or complicated sexual desire should men leave?
The insane person’s perspective of the subreddit.
The friend isn't the one lying to his SO about finances now, is he?
That would be a huge dealbreaker for me. I just can't with wasting food. It's utterly wrong.