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It can only come from you internally working on your insecurities. One thing that sticks out to me here is the phrase “get a turn” which to me reads as you viewing her as property rather than a whole person. If you’ve had this problem before, consider therapy. And you’ve come to a good start by acknowledging this thought is wrong and apologizing, and recognizing the problem is with you and not her.
”speaking my truth”
What truth are you even talking about at this point? You still haven’t even answered the question from the comment; you just started taking about being bashed (which the comment didn’t do).
A boyfriend is not a project. You are throwing money at this man under the assumption that you’ll somehow magically make him a better person? How does wasting hundreds, possibly thousands of dollars on hotels increase his potential of not being an asshat? How does it improve his life or yours?
With a move to industry, the location is flexible and there are many places we'd both want to live! that are suitable. If I got offered an academic position somewhere she doesn't want to on-line, I would turn it down.
The issue I have isn't the distance, but the prospect of loans. I'd be happy if she works over the summer to minimize the need for loans without eliminating them entirely
so far
??♂️…..don't be a gluten for punishment, just for the attention. Do better.
The fact that you blame yourself and feel that u should have accepted it and deal with it.. U just showing that, it's the tips of the icerberg and you are so used to be manipulated that you can't even see he is the problem and you will always blame yourself for everything wrong he do.
They were just giving an example. Their comment could be summarized with “she was joking and some jokes come off differently if you aren't friendly with each other”.