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Yes. If you’re still together in a couple of years and you feel certain. She is only 20. There is no rush, you know? ❣️
Don't expect to parent the adult. She doesn't need a new dad. You'll always just be “mom's new boyfriend” to her.
You should sit down with your GF and have a proper discussion about expectations as a family unit though. 22 is an adult, but she's also freeloading if she's not paying rent or helping out around the house(most people grow out of the broody teenager phase by this point, just fyi). Your girlfriend is the one who needs to have that discussion with her daughter though, not you.
The younger one is a whole different game. You should settle on what your expected contribution is with her now, while the situation is still fresh. Are you going to be her “new dad” or are you just “mom's boyfriend”?
Just apologise and say In retrospect you disagree with what you said and how you said it. Pet her know you understand why what you said was inconsiderate and disrespectful of her efforts.
If so many women really are flirting with him, he is clearly giving off ‘available’ signals to them. He seems to recognise when someone is showing signs of being interested so must also know how to give back the appropriate signals. Sounds like he isn’t doing that and is preparing you for the fact that he isn’t going to. I’m not suggesting your bf is cheating, but I do think that the unwillingness to close the flirting down is more likely to lead to cheating.
You did the right thing. He cheated on you. End of story.