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Yeah, OP, think about it this way — he could have also gone just to avoid the argument. Why are you the only one responsible for “avoiding the argument”? That’s not a good way to think about it.
At the risk of staring the obvious, you don’t “find anyone else attractive” before you leave – you leave him first, then somehow pull your head out of your arse and work on yourself and your gigantic mental issues. ffs
She doesn’t want children.
That could change if your BiL really starts weighing his options. If he decides he might want to leave, this is something for him to keep in mind.
Dump her instead? She sounds like a genuinely awful person. Who says shit like that? You're clearly on good enough terms with your ex that you can chat in the street, she's apparently a nice person. And here's your current girlfriend; clearly jealous really and being nasty towards someone else to pick herself up.
I'd rather be with “a nice person” than someone who's selling points are her looks, her money and her status, and who goes stalking someone on Facebook just to say horrible things about her.
Honestly breaking up with her and telling her that it's because she did something genuinely awful for no valid reason might help put her in her place.