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She may not see it as her responsibility to take care of her non biological child even if you're funding all 3 kids. Maybe she doesn't feel entitled to spend her money the way you do. That's generally okay and you're well to do so maybe it doesn't occur to her easily.
I just think it was irresponsible of her not to consider the feelings of your daughter. They may be in each others company for many years. It's ostracising to not include her. Even if you created a fund for your daughter to create some equity between her and her siblings. She will definitely feel the distance.
Yea she could pretend the song is fun, record it, then share it live ?
Seems like you know you fucked up and you know you need to apologize
At the end of the day she's your daughter and responsibility. She has chosen to cut ties with him as a step dad. Respect that and keep her outside the home you've built with him till he's ready to reconsider
Also be ready to accept If he never forgives her.
Change your phone number and contact the police about getting an order of protection. He’s stalking and harassing you.
You knowww, this would be the cool reason, but all else is really sad.
Something to think about as you head back to therapy to work on this: your child will now live! in fear of making daddy cry again. She thinks what they were doing was wrong because you had an emotional moment. Your partner, who is wonderful, handled it with dignity and grace, but your daughter will forever associate making cookies with breaking daddy. Outbursts like those can really muck up a kiddo in that concrete operational developmental stage, and she won’t be mature enough developmentally to understand what happened here for a decade or more. I understand that your wife meant the world to you, but there are also some developmental elements of your relationship with her because you were high-school sweethearts. You found love before your brains finished developing so the attachment there is going to be stronger than any relationship you form now. Not because a new relationship can’t match up but because literally the brain chemicals are different now. All of that said, what you do have left from her is those kids and if you want them to grow and be healthy, awesome adults you’re going to have to model dealing with things like this in a healthy way. You will never forgive yourself if you screw these kids up. If you can’t see that you still need some therapy after an incident like this, and you’re willing to risk screwing up this relationship with someone who loves your kids, and risk screwing up your kids than I guess online your life. If I were in your shoes and the woman I love, and who loves my kids like her own, I’d do whatever she asked of me after a screw up like this. It should bring joy to your heart to see them making cookies together, if instead your feelings caused this kind of blow-up, think instead of where you’d all be without Claire. Do what she’s asking of you, get yourself better, because these kids need you. And they need a whole, complete you who can model for them how to get through life’s major bumps.
Please get help for your GFs addiction and maybe some counselling for you having to deal with it