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Room for online sex video chat _Nissa
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Leave her.
Leave him forever with his thoughts
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The Plan B part is the nugget that would have me upset. Yea, would not be making nice about that.
Tell him you're done. Give him notice to move out. Legally if need be. He's using you.
Updateme!
Then he’s a child who needs to learn to grow up and manage their emotions. Sorry, but if getting a pay on the back causes him to feel blindsided and so distracted and emotional he can no longer focus on work, he simply isn’t fit for the adult world.
I’ve had to go to work dealing with a death and a messy breakup before and do it with a smile on my face. People have been in even worse situations than I and had to hold it together and get their work done because that’s just what it means to be an adult sometimes. It’s definitely not an admirable trait to be so fragile that what amounts to a compliment can set this man off the rails so poorly.
He asked me a few months ago about moving back to an area we used to stay at because it's so much cheaper. We left because of the murders, drugs, and robberies that were happening all around us. I completely refused, so I don't know where he thinks this magically cheap place will be.
And I'm starting to feel that way. He refuses to tell me really how much he makes and tries to be secretive about his debts
Did you seriously just use the 'if it was your daughter' argument? Oh dear.
If my daughter is 19 I have no control over her and only a narcissist woukd think in that way. You treat people based jn how they treat you, not their age. A 19 year old boy is just as if not more likely to cause damage.
Sure an age gap like that may present problems but that's their own personal business to deal with.
No he is right. I dont see any problem. Infidelity also irritates me.
If he lies so boldly and comfortably and denies so easily. This is not a one-off, OP. He probably has been doing this repeatedly. You only caught him this once.
And yes, he's having lap dances, if he just goes that one night. Sorry to say.
Since you already told him this is a dealbreaker, and he still goes…it seems to me he has thought that he doesn't care that much about being loyal to you or wanting to keep a marriage with you. Or he knows you're not leaving, you're all BS or 'hot air' when you say, things like, 'cheating is a dealbreaker.' So he'll cheat and he just has to bear you getting angry, but you're not leaving anyway.
I think he secretly wants to be single, tbh. He just doesn't like the idea of having to pay CS, and losing a 'bangmaid.'
Its his bedroom too you know. Its not like they have separate rooms. He has a right to go in a room without having to ask to unlock the door.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
So, in order for you to understand the whole situation, I need to explain everything from the beginning.
I (30M) have a wife, Kate (30F). We dated for 3 years before getting married 4 years ago.
We have known each other for around 10 years. We met in college and initially we were just friend. I started liking her after a couple of months but I was too shy and coward to confess ( I had problems as a child so my self esteem was -1/10). In our friend group, there was this other guy, Mark (31M). Mark was the opposite of me. He was an extrovert, I was an introvert, he was the funny type, the center of the friend group, while I was one of those followers you wouldn't even notice if they were absent.
Kate wasn't the classic beauty but for me she has always been the brightest star in the sky. She is kind, funny, compassionate, caring. She is the kind of woman anybody would want at his side.
The year we graduated college, I was finally starting to come out from my shell. I talked more, voiced my opinion with my friends; all those things that until the year before looked impossible for me, suddenly looked possible.
I was still scared but one day I decided to confess my feelings to Kate. She didn't answer immediately and, thinking back, I question why the past me never had doubt about her reaction. She told me she didn't expect it and that she needed some time to think about it.
For one week I was more tense than a violin string.
One day she called me and she agreed to going out with me and we have been dating ever since.
The past 7 years have been the happiest of my life and I have to admit Kate reciprocating my feelings was a big boost for my self esteem.
Me and Kate have been happy together until now. We had fun, we laughed, joked and faced every problem together.
Recently, though, Kate confessed me the truth: I wasn't her first choice. Apparently during that week between my confession and her reply, she confessed to Mark and asked him out but he rejected her. She admitted that she initially went out with me simply because I was a kind guy and she wanted someone to be with but that after she knew me better, she fell in love with me for real.
I know it doesn't make sense logically but I'm freaking out: I love her and she loves me but in my mind I constantly feel this voice that tell me I wasn't worthy enough and that she simply “settled” for me after her first choice rejected her.
I can't seem to focus on anything else and this has been influencing negatively my private life and my work. I need advices on what to do.
TLDR : My wife confessed she originally settled for me after the guy she liked rejected her. I'm freaking out.
ETA: I see people keep asking about the circumstances and the reason why she told me the truth: basically we were drinking some wine and remembering our time in college and the argument of when we started dating came out. She confessed the truth because she felt bad about starting our relationship with a lie and wanted to come clean.
She just told you that you cannot trust her so why are you still with her? She stated that if and an opportunity comes she will not be faithful.
She does not have to do anything wrong for you to break up with her or even be upset with her. She showed you that she does not have good morals. That is good enough. She is free to be who she wants to be and if that is someone who has a cheater mentality then so be it. This freedom she has does not mean you have to have her in your life.
Yeah I don't think I'll be able to do that anyways. But it really sucks losing her to something like this.
Don't wait for him to do something wrong with in reality, he has already told you lies.
Just out of a relationship where I got lied to constantly, cheated on and just screwed with mentally.
But..
I learned, I didn't see it as an end to everything and got depressed.
I am now brutal when it comes to Women, if they play games, lie or just ain't straight forward and honest with me, no game and so on, I tell them no thanks or just Ghost them, I don't give them an Inch, I sick of being treated like shit.
I have managed to lose 50kg in the last 7 or so months, so attracting girls seems a lot easier now.
Guess we just have to agree to disagree