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That in itself is a huge red flag. So you leaving isn't his problem? He has told you all you need to know about how he feels about you. Even without this idiot coming you need an exit strategy
She deserves to be happy just as you deserve it. Tell her so she can leave him and find someone who actually loves her and doesn’t put her health at risk. You didn’t fall for this guy. This guy doesn’t exist. The sweetness, the attention to detail, the communication…none of it is real. It’s a pretty lie wrapped with a sparkly bow. Trust me, you don’t want to on-line your life never knowing if anything he tells you is true ( spoiler: it isn’t). And you don’t want her to live! like that.
Aww she’s the one that got away (????)
See, for me, it's frustrating because she said that if she didn't send the message then to her, it would feel like she was a wife that would be “obedient” to her husband, so I can see her point. But, I still would not have done that to her family, so it's different values I suppose.