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Go argue with your mammy
“What if I can't get over this?” Why should you? It's over.
OP said in a comment that the FIL had never even met the stepdaughter. Why should she get any of his money when he has 2 grandkids that also, presumably, need money? Because remember, the unrelated step-daughter only receives money (that was earned by a complete stranger) at the expense of that stranger's biological descendants.
Unless there's so much money going around that the kids don't even really need college savings accounts, I think keeping it in the family and not handing it out to strangers is appropriate.
Based on past experience with infidelity, I agree with that. These are my worries exactly. I appreciate you taking the time to answer and provide your insight!
Next time he threatens suicide, tell him that you’re going to let his wife know what has been going on so that she can keep an eye on him/check him into the hospital. He isn’t your responsibility.
You just said it yourself, if the car keeps breaking down then it's no good and deserves to be put on the scrapheap. I am that car.
Your boyfriend can't and shouldn't control what you're doing. He's being manipulative.
The husband could build a crib for his pc/laptop/smartphone
I did
Have you ever considered family counseling (so you and him)? I mean it must be VERY tough for him to suddenly online with his bio dad he's not seen in years, far away from his mum.
but the fact that she constantly cares about what people think.
How did you prepare for your son coming over? You knew how your wife was…..why didn't you tackle this issue beforehand?
This might not pertain to you, OP, but just in case this may be a possibility. I had a similar issue with an ex, and would break out into hives occasionally. And this was always after we had sexual intercourse. I came to the conclusion that I was allergic to his semen and ended up breaking off the relationship (and also other underlying issues we’ve been having). I’ve never had an issue since then, and I’ve heard that it’s possible to be allergic to someone’s semen but from others, you may be completely fine. I never had this issue prior to meeting him and have had no other complications afterwards either. It’s upsetting, but sexual incompatibility can really fuck up a relationship. Maybe this is not the case for you, but just wanted to bring up the possibility that this was the case for you?
Honestly, I know he asked you to take the lead here but I think that’s a bad idea.
He’s not ready and he’s putting all the “work” on you. I think you need to have a discussion with him that HE needs to be the one to take the lead on progressing your sex life. I understand he’s nervous about it. But he needs to take accountability and not leave this up to you to navigate.
You guys can have open discussions about how to proceed. But I would recommend having him make the suggestions and you can either agree or disagree.
HE needs to learn to self advocate and tell you what he’s ready for and what he isn’t.