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You know how guys always say women are crazy?
Well, you sound like my ex-wife. She would be really unpredictable when drinking and very often filled with rage. She also became physically abusive and I have permanent hearing loss in my right ear as a result.
She refused to stop drinking so I took our two sons and left her. that was 15 yrs ago and she still has the same issues.
My reason for telling you these things is as a warning, don't let it go that far. You from my reading bragged about being able to drink as well as your BF and while you say you don't drink often you do admit that you always get drunk.
This last episode should be all the reason you need to simply not drink any more.
There is an old saying “No man can hold their liqueur as good as a bottle”
For somebody like you, maybe you shouldn't even try.
I see your point but she never told me she was afraid of being fired if she took a stand. She never really told me she was being harassed, she feels it’s just he’s way of talking, just trash talk. she didn’t feel the need to report him nor did she ever tell me about this in those terms. How am I supposed to help her then?
You can bring it up exactly as you put it. You’re uncomfortable, you don’t make those types of jokes and it’s effecting you negatively, etc. Pay close attention to her reaction and it will tell you quite a bit on whether this relationship is or isn’t serious. If she tries to gaslight, minimize, etc. something like this (which is pretty dang uncomfortable I’d not downright hurtful for most people esp. that he friends are in on the “joke”) then you may want to take a step back and reassess what you want out of this relationship i.e. just something physical – ok, something serious – time to move on.
What’s the nuance, bud?
and she still loves me.
lol
Ok so first things first go look at the 18 year olds. And see how young they look to you (they are probably starting to look really young/baby faced through your eyes) listen to how immature and remember how you feel about those 'teenagers' getting married, they are young and silly and think they know better right? Now they have an age difference to you of a THIRD of what this guy has. 'Old soul' yeah I've got some mature friends, but inexperience still affects you, your still not on the same page as him in life.
Which leads us to point 2. Good chance guy is leading you on, what does he have to gain from marrying you? You already do all the wifey stuff. People who have been divorced are generally not keen to jump straight back into marraige, and I'll be willing to bet the ring is to keep you placated. He has enough experience to know “i don't feel ready to commit to anything. I think we should hold off on getting married. I don't know if i want to get married.” Won't fly well enough to keep a woman who has as many options as you do at your age. But a piece of shiny bait on the hook will keep you there so much longer wasting your time, and then he's got a good chance of you going “well it's been xyz number of years, do i really want to throw it all away?”
Let me guess, he loves you because you're “really mature for your age”. Jfc get a therapist for your daddy issues, not a wedding ring.