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I’m a woman.
hi there, OP. If you are waking up in the middle of the night, it might be a very stressful condition which will by its turn make things worse. I sughest you to seek for professional help.
You are Not compatible. There are men Out there who value monogamous relationships.
Speaking as a gamer and a 41 year old man, there are younger girls in some of my communities live!, and while i've had conversations with them, even one-on-one conversations about in-depth topics like relationships or other stuff, it's never been WEIRD and there's a definable concrete line that I would never allow it to go beyond, because I, as the adult, need to hold the boundaries of whats appropriate and whats not.
If he's crossing those boundaries for you, then he knows it 100% and if you're not comfortable then thats enough of a reason to break off or limit conversation with him.. Like if you're in the same raiding guild in wow you don't necessarily have to be like “NEVER TALKING TO YOU EVER” but a “hey lets limit this to raiding and guild/wow stuff: is completely reasonable.
The visiting stuff is weird too. A couple years back i knew I'd be in the same geographical location as somebody younger I knew online and they wanted to meet up and I declined. I would need them to have their parents there and aware of the situation and thats just too weird to be all “hey you dont know me, but your son and I play wow together and I'm in town for a business trip”. The whole thing is fucking weird.
If YOU”RE interested in meeting up IRL, you're young, that makes sense. If he's OK WITH IT or even pursuing it, then thats weird and a red flag, does that make sense?
Be friendly but not pushy. Get to know her and let her get to know you. No need to rush.
Tbh I'm sure he really thinks you are hotter, the more you love your SO the hotter they are to you
I agree to an extent, but this is something that is a huge part of OPs past that she doesn’t fully know about. She doesn’t have a right to any information, but I get the feeling this has more to do with the fact that he has a deep connection with someone who DOES know this about him. If it is that, she of course is going about it completely wrong.
Also, to OP, the fact that you say that person is still there in you but deeply buried makes me want to suggest some ongoing therapy for you. I’ve got the person I was when I got PTSD buried and it led to some problems when it would crawl it’s way to the surface. Therapy has helped me go through it and understand it better.