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Sounds like he was judging you based on your choices and actions. What other measuring stick should people use?
To everyone outside your head full of inner thoughts and monologue, you are literally defined by your choices and actions.
He isn't saying you're not worth hanging out with or being friends with, he just has higher standards for a relationship.
Just bring it up casually, for example when discussing the wedding or engagement from someone you know. Tell him that you noticed that your feelings regarding getting married changed over time, and that you sometimes fantasize about the two of you getting married. Could result in an interesting conversation, or him getting the hint, but I would not be to worried about it coming across as you proposing to him
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I’m exhausted just reading it. My husband used to be somewhat like this but not nearly to this extent. More just if we’re home together we need to do things together. If I wanted to read or something he would subtly make me feel guilty for not spending time with him instead. And vacations meant we were at the hip the whole time (he still is this way occasionally but not nearly as bad).
It took time and communication but he now understands that sometimes I just need to be alone. It’s not personal, it’s just how I’m wired.
He has a hobby that takes him outside multiple times a week and that’s when I do my own hobbies in the house. We even have what we call ‘hotel time’ and that’s where I spend the day/weekend in our room writing or watching movies alone.
I don’t know if this is possible for you since my husband never outright accused me of not wanting to be around him, but you should at least attempt to communicate the problem to her. At that point, depending on her response, you can decide whether the relationship is salvageable or if you’re done.
She won't answer, we all know it.
Just like the question about how she talks about her bestie and what expectations she places on a potential date.
It seems, there was a post of similar nature where that post's OP was making a potential partner third wheeling every date by bringing their bestie every time.
You’re in a toxic abusive relationship and you don’t even realize it. He takes all his frustrations out on you because he’s miserable. I suggest you rethink living with this man
Why would he have access to her home… the first thing you do when buying/renting a new house is to change the locks
What’s more important the job or your relationship?
If you are telling the whole story, what you are describing could be hobbies/interests for women some of which are very “girly” and “feminine”. I know it sounds like a stupid cliche that we hear every single day but your partner understanding of masculinity is toxic and very wrong, like he was raised in a certainway, or he is listen to certain podcasts, and it sounds like he is threatened by being with a strong woman, and has a fear of being disposable.
You say in comments that you were with your ex for 10 years and wouldn’t like it if your fiancé had his exes around. So not only are you emotionally dependent on your ex, you’re also a huge hypocrite.
It’s not healthy to be so emotionally dependent on one person, doubly so when that person is your long term ex partner. Of course your fiancé is uncomfortable with it!
“He trusts me with his life. Nobody else.” That’s concerning. Even introverts have friends/family to lean on, hell even a damn therapist. It is not healthy to put all of your emotional needs into one relationship, especially when he’s clearly got a lot going on.
It isn’t fair to you that you’re solely expected to shoulder this for him. And then, between your own life and your ex’s how much bandwidth do you have to really be present in your relationship with your fiancé? With everything else you have to worry about van your fiancé count on you to be there for him? It sounds like you’re spending a whole lot of time/effort/head space on your ex and I can see how your fiancé might feel shunted aside.
You would hate it if your fiancé was this close with one of his ex’s. So why are you doing this? He’s made his position clear: fiance or ex. You cannot have both. So pick one. But be aware that the vast majority of people will not be comfortable being in a serious relationship with you as long as you are so unhealthily dependent on your ex.