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Birth Date: 1997-06-26
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Yes very illegal. And if I were you I would deal with it by speaking to his supervisor as well as the police. Some people are crazy, if he finds out where she lives and follows her when she leaves, and from there… who knows what he is capable of. This is scary. I’ve been stalked before, by an ex boyfriend so I would take this very seriously. Beautiful women are often targeted by predators.
she decided to stay in touch with this man so comfortably around you.
You don't have to talk, you have nothing to gain, she will just deny and argue for nothing
After a few days you can check the phone, is the man registered, are messages, pictures shared?
“he's my whole world”
“Not even 10 minutes talking to him I feel so drained”
Those two can't coexist. Figure out which one is the real one and go from there. Imo, sorry, but if you have the second, it literally cannot be the first. Good luck!
She might not “need” it, but she and her mother obviously enjoy the affection and close snuggles, why would you want to stop that?
Well don't we all?! Thing is, when I'm hankering after something I budget for it and wait until I have enough money to do it, or I go without other minor luxuries for a while until I can afford it. My partner earns five times as much as me, I could ask him for money and he'd gladly give it, but I prefer to remain independent. Sounds like she wants to just mooch off of you.
On the surface, I’d say to just let this go and give it time. You made a joke, it didn’t land, and you apologized. There should be nothing more that needs to happen.
However, clearly there’s something else behind this. I can only guess at the inferences he’s making though because you didn’t give us a lot of detail. Why is it so gross to joke about sex? Why does he think it’s disrespectful? Does he think your past sexual behavior is gross and disrespectful? Is he repulsed by bodily fluids? Is he so insecure that he can’t deal with the fact that you’ve had sex with other people before?
The part that’s weird to me here is that you made a joke you thought was funny and then when your boyfriend didn’t like it you totally spun out and reversed course, like of course he would think that was gross and you never should have joked about it and you really messed up. There’s something about that dynamic that feels odd to me but I can’t quite put my finger on it. The only two explanations I can come up with are 1) your humor is a consistent sticking point and you know your bf doesn’t like gross out jokes but you make them constantly anyway to provoke him on purpose, which makes you a jerk. Or 2) your bf regularly has such over the top responses to your innocuous comments that he’s trained you to immediately bend over backwards asking for forgiveness every time he gets upset, which makes him a jerk. Does either of those patterns sound familiar?
I would still recommend asking, both for your peace of mind and to gauge if it's a deal breaker. Because if it's really something unrealistic as he says then you can't really compare yourself as it's highly unlikely someone else would both match that fetish AND be interested in him.
the likelihood that this fetish is in the domain of Rule 34 is fairly high.
Do you want to stay with him or not? BC he doesn’t get to make the decisions here. If you want to leave him, see an attorney to understand your rights and excited outcomes. Share you theory on the kids/adultery. Think through what the attorney tells you and make a decision.
She isn't policing, more judging and giving excellent, irrefutable reasons why I should play something else. Feels bad when I still wanna play the game even without a “good” reason.
Honestly that is policing, even though she's using the “logical argument” approach to try to justify why her opinion is “logical and irrefutably right” and what you want to do “objectively” wrong. She does sound a bit controlling and exhausting tbh