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Do you know why she thinks that living in a ground floor apartment is causing her depression? That seems strange and rather specific.
I think it’s exactly what happened. I don’t think the partner is a bad person just because they reacted this way, but clearly ignorant about trauma (as you also stated), and his impact was effectively blaming OP for not processing her traumas fast enough.
He just doesn’t realize that fully yet because he is ignorant and also centered himself.
I am more concerned that he didn’t end up reflecting or researching more about trauma… as he clearly never apologized for his reaction.
You great relation ship is with a control freak. In most cases this will escalate into abuse. Unfortunately unless you want to agree with everything he says for the foreseeable future you aren’t going to have a happy life. You say he’s loving and perfect but that’s only til he’s not. Don’t let the “nice guy” blind you to the “control guy”.