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Not to grossly assume things but your husband might have a porn addiction
It’s a real thing, and it damages and destroys marriages, and is a leading factor in divorce
I have experience this with my ex. He is an ex now because he admited that it was never an accident. He wanted to hurt me physically but knew that'd be unacceptable so every time he wants to do it he'd pretend it's an accident. I almost die from suffocation several times in my sleep.
I'm not saying your bf is like that, but do be careful and stay safe.
An eye for an eye
I sometimes say I'm my next age 3-4 months off my birthday Just cause it's close so I don't think it's a big lie but it isn't necessary
I had a friend group that broke up about 8-9 years ago now due to a similar situation. Woman came in and completely nuked her significant others relationship because of insecurity. I realized I was still holding significant baggage of it when I randomly opened up an app one day last year and HER FACE WAS THERE!!!
I have enough self awareness to know that my feelings where 100% over the top. That said if my husband was ever like, “oh yea, I saw so-and-so at a wedding last month, and she said she'd be able to get me a job at [place] I can't honestly say that I would be calm about that, at least not in the moment. I'd probably objectively come back a few hours later and be like, “bro my bad, you know how I feel about her.” And then take it to my therapist.
But I could completely understand my husband not wanting to deal with my irrational anger about something that in his mind is incredibly inconsequential, and that he knows I ultimately wouldn't care about in the long run.
That said, trust your gut always and forever, OP. The gut develops things that our unconscious senses pick up and utilize to come up with likely situations to protect ourselves. They are also more often correct then not, to the tune of first responders being taught to trust their gut in training.
Oh yeah, your friends are too young for him? Interesting.
You answered it with your very long defensive response. I was literally just confused. I thought at first you were saying the man was the one in a critical situation where he could get assaulted. That didn’t make sense to me. I know men can get assaulted just saying it’s far more likely for women. Having said all that, talking to you over these past few comments is incredibly frustrating. It’s like you would prefer to be withholding. So let’s just go our separate ways.