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Thank you, all these comments are important for me to read because it helps me put things into perspective
Update
My wife could shave her head bald, and I would still love her to death. Would I be happy? No, but I wouldn't leave her. Seems to me that he isn't the one. You do you and find someone who is ok with that.
Updateme!
Bro, you don't deserve to be treated that way… this is a ??? just because if she gets used to treating you like this AROUND OTHERS, then the future is bleak if she decides she can walk all over you…. if she needs more time with her gfs and less with you, blow off some dates and go work out and play CoD with the boys, invest in yourself now.
And proceeds to post to r/relationship_advice instead of r/trueoffmychest or r/vent
Wat?
No is a whole sentence ya know.
Very hot line here, absolutely not, no way, nah, nope nope nope, dealbreaker.
Sounds like she either doesn't trust him or believes she's incapable of fully trusting him.
If she's willing to end a 3 year relationship over this, it's probably more than “curiousity and the freedom” of using OP's phone.
Also wondering if there is a situation with OP looking through gf's phone. Could be better if this is a mutual thing with their phones (or worse if gf feels more entitled about her own phone privacy)
This guy is toxic and needs therapy. Doesn’t sound like hes happy with you. Life is too short to surround ourselves with people who don’t support us and aren’t happy for us when we succeed. He also sounds like he treats you like a child. Find a man that is jumping for joy and being your biggest cheerleader and fan when you accomplish something. Congrats on accomplishing all of those things btw.
But you’re right honestly, the winner takes it all the loser has to fall it’s simple and it’s plain why should I complain? Cest la vie such is life I just beyond all want to stop hurting, revenge won’t solve any of that only time will.
I'm going to agree with most posters here that you shouldn't stay with this person. But I'm going to provide some advice since a lot of people stay in bad relationships. I would expect regular STD tests and the use of condoms for all intercourse together, which wouldn't be for a very long time. If the AP is someone he knows they must be no contact. If it was a one time thing while drinking I'd expect sobriety. Couples counseling. And I would expect he pull his weight with the baby. Not do small tasks and expect credit, full 50/50 parenting. I think needing all these things should show you this isn't a good situation. But I wish you the best.