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I was with a sexually abusive/coercive partner and bled after sex every time. Not gushing, but there was pink when I wiped. I wasn’t aroused enough and grew to think that’s just how it was. 4 years later I leave them and have a new partner a time after. He is patient, kind, loving, cares how I feel. No blood. Food for thought.
No, you're not. That's like saying my BF is an alcoholic because of you. You cannot control other people's actions, his choice to make out with someone, was his alone.
My alternative advice would be this.
You came to this reletionship unprepared. You have multiple things that needs correcting for you to be a more functional partner. This is work you do prior to a reletionship, not something you struggle to fix during and create an unnecessary weight placed on the reletionship.
For that reason, and his cheating (obviously). I think you need to take a step back from this reletionship. You have to work on these destructive behaviors. Once you eliminate them and start a new reletionship, I am sure things will be a much smoother and happier experience.
You’re entirely allowed to not be friends with an ex. For anyone to tell you otherwise would be a form of manipulation. Oh it would be ideal if everyone could be friends after a relationship, but the reality of it is that break ups are messy. People deal with this messiness in their own way, according to their own boundaries. This is why I believe it’s manipulative. If your ex respected your boundaries, then they would accept your wishes. This comes off as them having their cake and eating it too. If they wanted to break up they should accept whatever the result of that break up may be respectfully.
If you need to go no contact, do it. If you want to reach out and be friends do it on your terms. If you’ve expressed that you still have feelings for them, than they know that it would be harmful to you to remain in contact. If that’s the case then they are putting their own feelings before yours to feel better about the break up. Do yourself a service and listen to what you want for your sake, as your ex did for themselves by exiting the relationship.
I mean most jobs frown upon being high at work, but food service isnt like. Having peoples loves on the line so as long as no one makes a big deal (or if whoever the owners/managers are dont care) its fine.
She uses more than average for sure.
And like. You can be uncomfortable being with someone who is high all the time. Theres a difference between supporting peoples right to do whatever whenever and your specific needs in a partnership.
But yeah. Are you okay with how often shes high? Questions of job stuff aside?
Tell him thats not how gifts work.
I suppose your gifts didn't come with a paper of stipulations to keep them?
Give him the ring back and keep the rest. Cheating has consequences!
Good luck!
So is this whole post not an example of malicious manipulation?
Insisting on attending your appointments against your will and preventing you from using birth control are two more instances of serious abuse to add to the list you’ve already described. He wants you vulnerable and dependent on him so you’re easier to control.
Can you make an appointment somewhere without him knowing? You can go somewhere different like planned parenthood do there won’t be a record at your usual place.
The gym is not for everyone. I hate the gym and have a hard time too.
If you so care about your health, there are other ways to exercise that you would find more enjoyable like going for a walk/hike, playing games like tennis/basketball at a local park… there really are a lot of different ways to get started.
What’s important is starting where you are at. It isn’t realistic for someone who never goes to the gym to start going everyday.
If your boyfriend truly cares about you, he will support you with however you choose to start exercising. If he isn’t supportive then he isn’t a good boyfriend.