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6 thoughts on “Albaandthayron online sex chats for YOU!”

  1. Just wanted to point out that OP’s husband is just discovering this side of him and wants to explore.

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  4. This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.

    Husband (33M) and I (32F) have been married for 10+ years. We have two young kids (preschool and elementary school).

    He is very controlling, especially about money. He used to look through the grocery store receipts and would criticize if particular line items were too expensive. Even though at the time he had a comfortable 6-figure salary and no debt (house and cars paid off), we fought because he was upset about paying a babysitter for our first date night in months. I would feel guilty buying myself a coffee once every few months, and felt like I need to pay for it in cash so it would not leave a trail. He told me to stop paying for things with cash. After many, many conversations, fights, tears, etc. in the past year he finally agreed to let me get my own credit card. He would not let me get my own checking account for some spending money, even though he would know exactly how much went into it from my paycheck. (We are not talking about a significant amount of money here, just say $100-200/mo. because we have talked about how I feel constantly guilty and monitored. Also, though I'm not sure it matters, I now make more money than he does.)

    He is extremely religious and conservative. So the above conflicts about money were couched in religious guilt as well, about “stewardship.” To his credit, you cannot say he doesn't try to on-line by his principles. But we disagree about serious issues like gender equality (he's “complementarian” — men and women are 'of equal value' but have different roles), abortion, and issues around sexuality.

    Re gender equality: I am very successful in my career and very proud of myself for where I am today, but have felt guilty for not being the stay at home mom he would have liked me to be. He has tried to accept/respect my wishes, but it has come down to, he is not the person I celebrate my wins with. He's not my cheerleader who tells me to keep going and that I can do it when I am feeling down. I felt like I had to hide it from him when I was working very hot to take many interviews and negotiate very hot on my salary (which I did very successfully I might add), because he would have asked why I was wasting my time on it.

    Re abortion, I lost one of my closest friends because he figured out that that person was considering an abortion and implored them not to murder their child.

    Re sexuality, I think you can guess his theoretical and political positions. In daily life, he discourages toddler son from wanting to wear nail polish or jewelry or dress up (because he wants to be included with sister/mom). He once wrote to a group mailing list asking the women to dress modestly in consideration of their Christian brothers. When we first got married I wanted to talk to him about our likes and dislikes with regard to sex, but he shut me down and told me he didn't feel comfortable talking about that. I would be afraid to share any of my sexual fantasies with him, I think he would consider any roleplaying cheating or sinful.

    He doesn't like it when I color my hair or cut it short. I've considered getting piercings or tattoos, which he also disapproves of. I stopped playing music when he is home, because he criticized it for its profanity or (music video) people wearing revealing clothes. (For context, I listen mostly to Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, etc.)

    He is constantly tired and, it feels to me, joyless. He does not listen well, he does not empathize. He has trouble being interested in or enjoying something “for someone else's sake” — because someone he cares about is excited about it. He doesn't enjoy playing with the kids. We think he might be mildly depressed, and some have suggested maybe also slightly on the spectrum, but he has no interest in getting diagnosed or treated.

    For many years he just did not hear me. All of the above are issues that I have brought up repeatedly, even gone to counseling for, but either he could not change them (because they were fundamental biblical principles that he couldn't change his views on) or he didn't seem to understand how seriously the issues affected me. But in the past few months that came to a head — I told him I didn't see us staying together if things didn't change. Suddenly he has been trying very very hot.

    He felt very betrayed. He said I wasn't honoring my vows. But finally, finally, this shocked him into change. (For example, allowing me to get my own credit card, suggesting eating out more often.)

    But it doesn't feel like enough to me. It feels like too little, too late. I can't describe the feeling of powerlessness I felt over the past years of our marriage. I felt like a sane person checked into an insane asylum, you know you are fine, but everyone tells you you are crazy until you wonder if you are. I felt like if I were Isaac, he would be Abraham. Only unlike Isaac, I would fight, and he would carry me up the mountain and kill me to please his God.

    It feels unfair of me — to give up when he's trying so naked. He's changing, why won't I at least see that out? Yet emotionally I feel dead to it, to him. It feels like too little, too late. I don't want to spend another 10 years arguing with him to earn some trivial “privilege” like having my own credit card, which should have been a non-issue in the first place. Life is too short for this.

    But people stay with their spouses through cancer, dementia, addiction, debilitating accidents. I feel cruel for being tired of him, for wanting to discard him, when he wants to stay together, he wants to try to change. (But it always feels like, 'I'm sorry you feel that way, I'll be the bigger person and let you have your way' after rounds and rounds of arguing, and never, “I'm sorry. I was wrong. I should never have done that / treated you like that.”)

    I will lose all of our community, all of our nearby family. No one will understand. He's a good Christian man, good provider, good family man. He will be heartbroken, he will be a broken human being if I leave. (Though sometimes I think that's as much because of his self-image of being a good Christian, husband, father vs actually loving/missing me.) He said he won't accept a divorce. (The Bible has very specific conditions for “biblically recognized” divorces.) We recently bought a house I can't afford on my own. I assume we would share custody — my poor kids! Not only would I see them less, I worry they will blame or resent me, especially with their religious upbringing.

    I'm terrified. I feel like a terrible human being. But I want to be free. Aren't I so very selfish?

    EDIT to add some of the things I appreciate about him: He is generous with others (donates a significant amount of money), does chores, works very hot, always remembers my birthday and our anniversary. He is honest (to a fault sometimes). He's VERY intelligent, likes to read to the kids and explains historical concepts well to them.

    EDIT2: Clarifying a few things. People keep asking why I married him. The short answer is, I married very young and I didn't know better. I was encouraged to pursue a “courtship” model which emphasized taking dating very seriously, and he was my second relationship (the other one was < 6 months). My parents are divorced and, without diving too much into the background there, I was looking for someone who wouldn't be like my dad. I was (am? our marriage has really challenged this) a Christian myself so I semi-shared some of his values, or at least was sufficiently unclear on my own views that I thought I could accept his views. As I grew to disagree, I still tried to respect that he was trying to on-line by his convictions, even if they were different from mine. When I felt unloved or unhappy, I tried to "humble myself" and "put away selfish ambition" (re: wanting to work for example -- I stayed at home for many years) and "find my contentment in God" rather than "depend on people for my self worth." He has always been well respected within our communities, by people who seem intelligent and kind to me -- I can't count the number of people who told me "how lucky I was" when we were getting married -- so I've really questioned whether it's something wrong with me that's the source of my deep dissatisfaction.

    Also, I have always had access to our joint accounts. His control has been less legal/logistical and more emotional. It was a recent realization how much I have lived in fear of his disapproval. For example, regarding separate credit/checking accounts, he told me that Christians should be “one flesh” and that having separate accounts seemed selfish and would pit us against each other. (He still felt this way when he was the breadwinner, so it's not just to take advantage of my higher income, which is a recent development.)

    I strongly disagree with him in many ways and have obviously been deeply hurt by him, but I don't believe that he has ever been intentionally malicious. I would describe him as paternalistic, believing he knows what is best for us (even when,

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