I really appreciate the advice. I will definitely be having a conversation tnt with this insight in mind. We need to discuss the financial and cleaning aspect in more depth and that’s clear to me now. Thank you!
I don't really understand why people are against OP. Sure he may have been a little crass but I feel like if you were working hot for something, say you've been talking about doing something and have spent a whole year saving for it only for someone to “gift” you it. I'd be appreciative but it would also knock the wind out from under me and probably make me feel like everything I just did was for nothing. I struggled all this time for someone to just simply hand it to me instead. Sure I've still got the money there but that wasn't the point.
Social media platforms promote narcissistic behaviour – success is measured in likes, shares etc
The original intention of the group may very well have been safety. Sitting that in a platform that promotes narcissistic behaviour will slowly transform the group intention, likely without anyone ever noticing. This is definitely that process occurring.
It's literally inevitable that the snake eats its own tail eventually, in these groups. Imagine the situation but 10 years down the line. It's likely the group would be effectively nothing but men bashing and like farming, like literally every other group on social media.
Keeping women safe is one thing. What about keeping men safe?
I mean its not blatant cheating, but its definitely a grey area. I'd just tell her from now on you don't suck on any other male's body parts or its a done deal lmao
if it is a dead end, time to job hunt. Keep perspective on what he is “running from” and what he is “running towards”. Don't let short term frustration lead him to another job that will be frustrating. Hire help if needed to review resume and practice interviewing. As someone who professional is in the situation of taking a job over someone who thought they would get it I can tell you this. I don't think any less of that person. It isn't humiliating. Quite the contrary – I value that person more than the rest of the team and am out every day fighting for him to reach a promotion as well, either under me or somewhere else. Because I know he deserved it too. It wasn't a negative reflection on him, it was positive on me. It is only humiliating if you make it that way.
As for the personal advice:
be there for him. Highlight the things you love about him. Know when he wants to vent or when he wants advice. But when he wants advice, as his partner, you may want to push him. But this loss is perfectly normal to feel hurt, humiliated, or depressed. You can't just “take his mind off of it”. Don't minimize his pain. Help him find something good from this. One story I do tell some people who job hunt or even have lost their jobs. A water bottle is worth maybe 25 cents at the grocery store, $1 at the gas station and as much as $5 at an airport or stadium. But the water is the same. Different places will value you differently, but it doesn't mean you are any more or less of a person, better or worse at your job, based on where you are. So if you don't like it, change places. You can also look without moving if you just want the satisfaction of seeing what is out there and making it YOUR choice to stay.
But I don’t know why I just can’t do it.
A therapist could help you figure that out.
I really appreciate the advice. I will definitely be having a conversation tnt with this insight in mind. We need to discuss the financial and cleaning aspect in more depth and that’s clear to me now. Thank you!
Wow, what a stupid take
I don't really understand why people are against OP. Sure he may have been a little crass but I feel like if you were working hot for something, say you've been talking about doing something and have spent a whole year saving for it only for someone to “gift” you it. I'd be appreciative but it would also knock the wind out from under me and probably make me feel like everything I just did was for nothing. I struggled all this time for someone to just simply hand it to me instead. Sure I've still got the money there but that wasn't the point.
Social media platforms promote narcissistic behaviour – success is measured in likes, shares etc
The original intention of the group may very well have been safety. Sitting that in a platform that promotes narcissistic behaviour will slowly transform the group intention, likely without anyone ever noticing. This is definitely that process occurring.
It's literally inevitable that the snake eats its own tail eventually, in these groups. Imagine the situation but 10 years down the line. It's likely the group would be effectively nothing but men bashing and like farming, like literally every other group on social media.
Keeping women safe is one thing. What about keeping men safe?
I mean its not blatant cheating, but its definitely a grey area. I'd just tell her from now on you don't suck on any other male's body parts or its a done deal lmao
first some professional advice:
if it is a dead end, time to job hunt. Keep perspective on what he is “running from” and what he is “running towards”. Don't let short term frustration lead him to another job that will be frustrating. Hire help if needed to review resume and practice interviewing. As someone who professional is in the situation of taking a job over someone who thought they would get it I can tell you this. I don't think any less of that person. It isn't humiliating. Quite the contrary – I value that person more than the rest of the team and am out every day fighting for him to reach a promotion as well, either under me or somewhere else. Because I know he deserved it too. It wasn't a negative reflection on him, it was positive on me. It is only humiliating if you make it that way.
As for the personal advice:
be there for him. Highlight the things you love about him. Know when he wants to vent or when he wants advice. But when he wants advice, as his partner, you may want to push him. But this loss is perfectly normal to feel hurt, humiliated, or depressed. You can't just “take his mind off of it”. Don't minimize his pain. Help him find something good from this. One story I do tell some people who job hunt or even have lost their jobs. A water bottle is worth maybe 25 cents at the grocery store, $1 at the gas station and as much as $5 at an airport or stadium. But the water is the same. Different places will value you differently, but it doesn't mean you are any more or less of a person, better or worse at your job, based on where you are. So if you don't like it, change places. You can also look without moving if you just want the satisfaction of seeing what is out there and making it YOUR choice to stay.