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You’re not doing anything wrong. Odds are good he’s not interested in a relationship.
If you care this much about how she looks like, just break it off. Also, it is her hair, she does not need your opinion. You could have just said you are always beautiful but I prefer bob/long hair cuts more. Instead, you decided to be an AH.
I found out a while ago, that just because you're “right” doesn't mean it needs to be said. Let people give wrong opinions, don't add on to everything someone says.
Sometimes smileing and nodding is the best response
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My mind went to sickle cell immediately.
It's tough. I understand how difficult it is to be a caregiver and I've seen how devastating caregiver burnout can be. I'd say first thing is to get help for yourself. Whether that is a therapist, close friend or family member. Someone you can trust and can provide clear perspective on this. Then you need an open conversation with your wife where you can express freely exactly how this has been affecting you.
I truly believe there is no right or wrong decision when it comes to this. I know often in marriage you put your spouse's needs before our own, but this time I'd say choose yourself. You know what you can handle.
Good luck.
Not even a thought anymore. Best case scenario she willingly leaves. I know how messy this could be
No. And you cannot stick around with someone with the goal of fixing/changing them.
Welp, best case: I would write a somewhat lengthy message along these lines:
“Until you stop selling drugs and can prove to me that you can be a trustworthy and dependable partner who makes money legally and safely, I will not have a relationship with you of any kind. Here are the steps you can take to show me you are willing to be the type of partner I need:
Procure and keep a legitimate job of any kind for no less than 6 months. Show evidence that you have ceased ALL drug trafficking within 1 month. (I want to say 1 week, but I'm being generous I suppose) Show continuing evidence that you are willing and able to be financially responsible and either work a legitimate job or start your own legitimate business, with NO illicit or illegal activities involved indefinitely.
The instant I discover or find enough evidence to reasonably suspect any such illegal activity, this relationship will be terminated immediately, all contact methods will be blocked, and you will be reported to the police.”
More realistic case:
I would dump this dude faster than you can say “Breaking Bad” and look for a partner who actually wants to be a real life, responsible adult with a real job and a sense of self-respect and a desire to contribute to society.
That's what I would do.
He punched a door because the baby was crying, it sounds like he is escalating. One of you needs to get out of the house before he does. I don’t care how many therapies he’s done or if this only happens in the morning. He’s not safe and whatever he is doing is not enough. People who hit walls/doors and break things, they’re restraining themselves from hitting you. Eventually the door isn’t satisfactory enough.
It also breaks my heart that you have to do all of this on your own. Paying the bills isn’t enough in this scenario, especially if he’s only working part time.
He makes 400K a year. He should have a lot more saved