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If your girl really follows him, I would find no reason not to believe what he’s saying. That’s my take. Others may disagree.
Move on, she is childish.
Were the cuddling and foot rubs in front of you? How did you find out? I can understand Tom not understanding norms and personal space, but it is really a stretch that Lisa is also that kind of person and they found each other! Tom sounds creepy to me, sorry OP. I don’t think anyone would think of having to set a boundary to such stuff, in the same way as you don’t expect to spell out not cheating. This is really suspicious- are you sure there is no trickle truthing? Heck, yes he should stop seeing her or going to her house or foot rubbing or any other kind of rubbing he has in minds. Tom needs to understand he will also come across people who really do not like being touched.
So its basically big wedding or don't get married.
Does your wife know what compromising is? It seems to me she doesn't and it's all her way or the highway. Sleep in the other room, getting good sleep is important for your mental health and if she doesn't like it it's her own fault for never compromising and wanting everything to be on her terms.
Not every couple sleeps together, my grandparents have been happily married for 50 years and have always slept separate as far as I can remember. Both of them snore, so they have a nude time sleeping together, it was usually race for who feel asleep first lol.
It sounds almost like she had an episode of mania. She should probably discuss this with a doctor?
You didn't actually do anything wrong, but I think in her time of racing thoughts she asked things she normally wouldn't have and isn't sure how to handle the answers she got?
Give her some time. Talk to her about this and tell her you're concerned.