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Ah, then in this context I'd say he's being an ass. Yeah I've done some combat training as well…you don't do it for years and not have a solid muscle base.
Honestly it sounds like the two of you aren't a fit…I know from personal experience that numbers and preferences and realities don't always align. (I was in the military and I ALWAYS had to do the bodyfat test in spite of having visible abs…just built differently than the accepted standards). I'm sorry your guy is being a jerk.
Unless he has some other wildly awesome qualities I'm not sure there's much for you to get out of this relationship.
If she were surreptitious about it at all then I might have concerns, but this reads more like she's feeling you out for a foursome.
Honestly, let him go try and find that life that isnt empty.
Lets be real here, cheaters will lie to themselves and make things worse than they are so they can justify what they do. You relationship didnt cause him to cheat, his own weakness, entitlement, selfishness et al caused it. Using your relationship as an excuse is just that an excuse. Cheaters lie, then they lie some more. They gaslight, blame shift (as he did here) minimize.
Whatever caused him to cheat it wasnt those reasons. he cheated because he wanted to, had the opportunity to so he did.
Without some counseling he wont be a safe partner for you in the future. He needs IC before you need couples therapy, he did this, not you, its all him. If there are no, or just few, consequences, cheaters follow the path of “Well I got away with it once, maybe I can again”.
If you stay I hope IC can help him fix whatever is broken in him that told him what he did to you was ok.
What drugs did you take?
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You are the only person who can choose when you start deciding to move on rather than continue feeling how you are. No required time to decide here. Good luck.
Ooooh, you are religious, hence the need to “warn” me against living my life the way I want and the egregious amount of guilt you clearly feel when doing anything for yourself. It all makes a lot more sense now
Hate is such a visceral feeling to have, that it has to be a result of how your girlfriend talks about you. If that isn’t the case, she should be upset about it and not only defend you, but consider cutting those friends off for them to have absurd feelings like that and be open about them. It’d be disrespectful to her.
I’m sure you’ve made mistakes. No one is perfect. But the two examples you provided? You did nothing wrong. At the end of the day, you’re unhappy because you’re the only one making an effort. You should be. Walk away.
That’s a shame you don’t know. You should find out immediately. Do it tactically and from the heart. It’s very hot to do something genuine for her if you don’t even know what she likes. My partner knows I love octopuses so he bought a stuffed animal octopus for my birthday and found some documentaries about it to watch together. It wasn’t a lot of money, but it was immensely thoughtful and it meant a lot to me. I think of him when I see it.
Have you confirmed that with her? How do you know that? Does she show her love through touch (before things changed), acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts?