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Alice, 22 y.o.
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19 with a body count of 50 , just how is it possible?
Oh, girl, no. No man of normal financial means gifts a coworker anything worth $350 in secret Santa, and lies about it. If he thought it was an appropriate gift he wouldn't have hidden it or lied about buying it. He would have trotted it right in the house and asked you to wrap it. Also, he conveniently got his, “bestie's” name in Secret Santa? Something isn't right here.
A gag gift would be a knockoff pair of D&G sunglasses he bought from a guy in the subway station.
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a,duck. It's a duck.
Is this really about the proposal or do you maybe not want to be engaged?
Why is the proposal so important to you? Do you feel like your partner doesn‘t care enough about your wishes?
It’s clear he thinks now he’s got you married he can give up the schtick of being a good person and can release his true nastiness on you because he thinks he’s got you trapped and locked in it now. It’s only been a couple months, can you get an annulment still? I normally try to avoid saying it’s a good idea to just leave, because a lot of times I think it’s just jumping to the extreme, but in this case…. You should run.
He is not going to change, it’s only going to get worse. It could even develop to getting so bad that your safety is in danger. I don’t know anyone that would speak and think like that, that also wouldn’t be the type to get physical. They tend to go hand in hand. He has no respect for you and sees you as less than him, seems like less than human. Honestly it sounds like you’re no longer in a safe space. You should seriously get your ducks in a row, because I do not in a million years see this getting better, only worse.
Telling her the truth doesn't destroy the family. Keeping the secret does. You have the power to do the right thing and help a woman find out who her husband really is, early in the marriage. Otherwise she may not find out for years and will be stuck with a cheater for that whole time.
Yes he is a big emotional cheater and I'm sorry you have to go through this. It would be good to collect something as evidence.
He doesn't care or respect you at all, because he doesn't stop and seems to not see his wrong in this. Now there is this girl in your hometown.. it won't stop as emotional when he can have access to the physical.
Yes my advice would be to leave, but you don't have much to go on. I'm confused for your sake and I want to wish all the well, but this will be a big struggle for you.
I feel for you OP??
Yep. I agree with this. Gay person here.
As much as I want to jump right to divorce, you should go to marriage counseling.
Keep the SIL in your life and make sure her big brother apologizes to her for not interjecting.
Talk to your brother about it and get his thoughts on it. Yeah, he might be offended but he deserves to know what environments he’s actually safe in.
People can learn and grow, and they can do it quickly. I want to give the husband the benefit of the doubt.
Wishing OP (and her gays) lots of love and healing.
It's like that little white lie what he doesn't know. Or she really forgot. But if your in single digits I don't think you forget who you got nude with. If she said I been wih over 50 ok then.I get It it's a blur but 6 a bit suspicious I question her a bit marriage it built on trust not lies at least to me for strong bond. Trust me it helps to know and what happens transparency. You don't need to know there sex positions all that detail. But number and how did it ended relationship they in single digits songood bonding possible unless she lied. Trust
Yes you too!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
I don’t think the guy at the bar was David. Tbh, if that was true, why didn’t she just say that off the bat or explained when they got back to the hotel? The red flags don’t match.
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It shouldn't be about one or the other. Forget this new person right now. Instead, focus on your current relationship. Is it what you want? Are you happy? Do you want the long-term with her? Figure out if you want to keep this relationship or not. If you do not, then end it.
Once your current relationship is over, then pursue whomever you want.
Treat you current partner with respect and at least figure that out before you start thinking about anyone else.
Replying to this cuz I agree but have one thing to add – idk if this would work for you but I'll throw it out there anyway. At least for me I get very jealous seeing the attention being paid to someone else myself but if I don't see it I really don't care. Perhaps there's some compromise that you guys can reach if you aren't bothered by the idea of him sleeping with other people. It is entirely possible his main reasoning is the novelty and that novelty will eventually wear off but also good to point out it's not fair to agree to something like that with the expectation that's the case.
Would u give him a ride at 4am?