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Alice(grey) and Lana(brunette) , ?, 19 y.o.
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Whenever someone suggests flipping the situation around, I always think that is terrible advice. Just because she would be okay with you sleeping with another man does not mean you have to be okay with her sleeping with another woman.
You're right that this is about monogamy. It boils down to this: Would she be willing to throw away your 9 years together to explore the lesbian half of her sexuality? If yes, then there's nothing you can do to persuade her otherwise.
Given how dismissive she has been about your feelings on monogamy, you have to ask yourself whether you still trust her to remain faithful. How she answers the question above may give you some insight.
First of all never buy a house with anyone you aren’t married to. Second, why can’t you propose to him?
What did her therapist recommend?
In my (44F) experience, kids handle death pretty well when you explain things in an age appropriate way. Whether or not to go to the funeral is really dependent on each child.
Not sure what country you’re in or what the standard funeral is like where you are but where I am, there’s usually a wake, then a funeral where the body may be open casket or just a photo and an urn, then a graveside service, then a meal with family and friends. I probably would only take her to the funeral and the meal.
At 6, I’d give her some autonomy and just explain that dad died (skip the suicide, just say he was too sick and the doctors couldn’t help him) and that to celebrate his life, there will be some get togethers. Explain what those events will look like and ask her if she’d like to go.
My uncle killed himself when I was her age and they didn’t take me to the funeral. I didn’t really understand what was going on because no one would tell me—I just knew people were upset and sad. It was confusing.
As an adult, I have prepped my step kids for this sort of thing (not a suicide) and they attended a couple of funerals for their grandparents and such. They did fine.
But again, it depends on the child.
I would also intervene with family and make sure you all have your “story” straight as far as what everyone says about his manner of death.
I'm my opinion, if you're a couple and move in together, it doesn't matter who owned the house before its now our house. We get equal say, we start splitting bill fairly based on what we each make not a straight 50/50, and you both make decisions on if you want to move.
Sounds like this guy won't let you have any say in the house because it's his, and refuses to give up any power.
He's not looking for a partner, he's looking for a subordinate .
we are attending therapy since the incident came to light
Why don’t you have a job? You need to get one or you will always be under his thumb. He has no right to tell you what you can or can’t do. This is not a good relationship at all.