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This post is a good example of why many girls prefer to date older guys. Grow up, or lose her.
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he IS cheating on you
That’s a lotttttt going on and I understand why you’re so distressed. Some of the things you mention seem pretty normal to me (sharing locations by phone, checking with your partner before making plans with friends, texting intermittently throughout the day) but not when combined with some of her other behavior. Is marriage counseling an option? It might help to have an objective party help you verbalize why some of these things make you so uncomfortable and how she can show how much she loves you without crossing a line. It’s okay to need space from your wife. It is not okay for her to trample across your boundaries because she loves you so much. This kind of overbearing presence will inevitably push you away, and she needs to know that you are becoming more troubled about your future together.
Do they send you messages asking you out or is it all in person? Also the work colleague told you about the bet that’s someone who knows. Can they back you up if you go to the higher ups.
Let her go.
If you two are not compatible because you don’t have the same life goals, she has every right to leave. Maybe you can convince her to stay with a more detailed plan than saying “just wait”.
But this could also be a manipulation tactic where she threatens to leave to pressure you into having a child, but actually doesn’t follow through with leaving. It could be that too.
If it’s the last one, do you really want to be with someone who is that manipulative? If you had a child with her, would she threaten to take the child away to make you jump?