Wow it's hard to believe this is real. You will probably be struggling to control his drinking for a very long time. Alcoholism is a family disease and you are already showing major symptoms
Sounds like Danny is a bit of a prat. A few of my friends are musicians, different genres that I do not like. They know it is not my taste. I go support them whenever I can and they always give me a big hug because they appreciate that I am there 100% for them.
Is it my responsibility to sort this out when we have never been close and he's basically trying to replace me with a new baby?.
Ideally your father and stepmother would recognize how weird it is to give your sibling a name so similar to yours. But they clearly don't.
So to answer your question, if you want them to understand how weird it is, you have to actually talk to them. I wouldn't think about it in terms of whose responsibility is it, but instead of “what do you want?”
Just break up with her bro you're out here trying to get justification from strangers but at the end of the day that's what you want so just do it. There is no reason that can possibly justify it other than you're a big baby and she did something you don't like anyway. Also, dating an 18 year old as a 23 year old is still weird.
Last night I, M (33) discovered hundreds of texts between my fiance F (25) and another man, revealing them meeting in secret, mostly while I was away in another city. We have been together for one year. Engaged for two months. I have never cheated. We've talked about infidelity and boundaries many times. She often expressed disgust at people who cheat.
I pretended everything was fine for the night while she slept on my lap, taking photos of the messages between them. I took about 400 photos and only managed to get back two months before my phone died and she woke up. She didn't realise anything was up. We stayed in the same bed that night, her asleep and me not. I cooked her breakfast the next morning, asked for the engagement ring so I could get it polished at the jewellery store in our suburb, because she'd scratched it the day before. She reluctantly agreed and put another ring on “for the day”. I told her I loved her and sent her on her way. Then I quickly packed everything and left. I do love her, that wasn’t a lie.
Many of the messages between them feature both of them saying ” love vou” and “''m in love with you” and quite a few suggest physical infidelity. To be honest, there are too many to go through them all here but the conversation thread that stands out most is from late November 2022 when I was working in another city and goes like this. The other guy says “I just always want be as close to you as possible. I love it when you sleep on my lap and on my chest. And I'm still thinking about you in that bed earlier. We haven't done that in awhile where you're literally taking my shirt off and even the kisses were different. I miss the good times. Alright put it this way, did tonight do any harm for you? I can tell the difference between making love and just sex. Tonight was obviously just sex. So obviously you're not emotionally attached anymore and not catching feelings so what harm can be done?”
You for not reading the room and keeping it going, and him for taking his insecure anger too far.
Its part of life. learning about each other and adjust accordingly. If he cant get over it than move on. If you dont learn from it than he will move on as well. Its why we date before we get married
She sounds like a psycho. I had a gf like this and ended up marrying her. It was a nightmare and lasted less than a year. I'm sure there are other things you probably consider no big deal or trivial compared to the big picture, but those small things add up to a pattern of behavior.
Wow it's hard to believe this is real. You will probably be struggling to control his drinking for a very long time. Alcoholism is a family disease and you are already showing major symptoms
Sounds like Danny is a bit of a prat. A few of my friends are musicians, different genres that I do not like. They know it is not my taste. I go support them whenever I can and they always give me a big hug because they appreciate that I am there 100% for them.
Is it my responsibility to sort this out when we have never been close and he's basically trying to replace me with a new baby?.
Ideally your father and stepmother would recognize how weird it is to give your sibling a name so similar to yours. But they clearly don't.
So to answer your question, if you want them to understand how weird it is, you have to actually talk to them. I wouldn't think about it in terms of whose responsibility is it, but instead of “what do you want?”
Just break up with her bro you're out here trying to get justification from strangers but at the end of the day that's what you want so just do it. There is no reason that can possibly justify it other than you're a big baby and she did something you don't like anyway. Also, dating an 18 year old as a 23 year old is still weird.
Just FaceTime then
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TLDR: I found messages showing my fiancé cheated, so I took all of my things out of the house and ghosted her. Not sure what to do next.
Last night I, M (33) discovered hundreds of texts between my fiance F (25) and another man, revealing them meeting in secret, mostly while I was away in another city. We have been together for one year. Engaged for two months. I have never cheated. We've talked about infidelity and boundaries many times. She often expressed disgust at people who cheat.
I pretended everything was fine for the night while she slept on my lap, taking photos of the messages between them. I took about 400 photos and only managed to get back two months before my phone died and she woke up. She didn't realise anything was up. We stayed in the same bed that night, her asleep and me not. I cooked her breakfast the next morning, asked for the engagement ring so I could get it polished at the jewellery store in our suburb, because she'd scratched it the day before. She reluctantly agreed and put another ring on “for the day”. I told her I loved her and sent her on her way. Then I quickly packed everything and left. I do love her, that wasn’t a lie.
Many of the messages between them feature both of them saying ” love vou” and “''m in love with you” and quite a few suggest physical infidelity. To be honest, there are too many to go through them all here but the conversation thread that stands out most is from late November 2022 when I was working in another city and goes like this. The other guy says “I just always want be as close to you as possible. I love it when you sleep on my lap and on my chest. And I'm still thinking about you in that bed earlier. We haven't done that in awhile where you're literally taking my shirt off and even the kisses were different. I miss the good times. Alright put it this way, did tonight do any harm for you? I can tell the difference between making love and just sex. Tonight was obviously just sex. So obviously you're not emotionally attached anymore and not catching feelings so what harm can be done?”
My fiancĂ© responded: “This sucks. It just made me cry more. A lot of harm.”
The other guy said “In that case we don't need to sleep together anymore, I didn't know it made you feel that way.”
My fiancé has since been home, found the house empty of me and my things and is now blowing up my phone asking where I am, why did I leave, what did she do.
Please advise: what do I do next? Ghost and move on? Give her a chance to explain?
He should be scared.
He needs to get it in writing that she's lying if possible and then leave immediately.
that’s definitely a different way to look at it, thank you! i’ll try letting her fix some of the things that are going on.
He’s a fuxking asshole please leave him
Both in the wrong.
You for not reading the room and keeping it going, and him for taking his insecure anger too far.
Its part of life. learning about each other and adjust accordingly. If he cant get over it than move on. If you dont learn from it than he will move on as well. Its why we date before we get married
She sounds like a psycho. I had a gf like this and ended up marrying her. It was a nightmare and lasted less than a year. I'm sure there are other things you probably consider no big deal or trivial compared to the big picture, but those small things add up to a pattern of behavior.