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7 thoughts on “AlissonNova online sex cams for YOU!”
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Then, there's a good possibility of having a productive conversation. It may still lead to you two breaking up, but hey it happens.
Rule of thumb – until the girl doesnt say she wants to be exclusive you dont put any label on the relationship and automatically assume that you both see other people.
This girl is full of red flags, be careful not to hurt yourself – stayed in an unhealthy relationship – had fwb relationships – didnt have a normal boyfriend at all – was willing to fuck two random guys
Double standards of course but these are not the signs of the perfect girlfriend.
No shit he doesn’t want to talk to you. If I were him I wouldn’t want to either. The only thing left for him to say is that the relationship is over. All the regret in the world isn’t gonna fix it.
What advice are you looking for exactly?
Like, I don’t know, stay at your job and let the chips fall I guess.
He says I’m very inconsiderate of his needs and feelings… but my best is not good enough.
Bubb, if your exBF is an untreated person with BPD (“pwBPD”), my experience is that your best will never be good enough. Whatever you do will be hurtful to him much of the time. A comment or action that pleases him on one day may greatly offend him when repeated a week later.
Moreover, a pwBPD often will perceive you as being hurtful when you DO something and hurtful when you DON'T do it. In this way, you often will be damned if you do and damned if you don't.
This conundrum is due to the position of his two great fears — abandonment and engulfment — at opposite ends of the very same spectrum. This means you often find yourself in a lose/lose situation because, as you back away from one fear to avoid triggering it, you will start triggering the fear at the other end of that same spectrum.
Your predicament, Bubb, is that the solution to calming his abandonment fear (drawing close and being intimate) is the very action that triggers his engulfment fear. Likewise, the solution to calming his engulfment fear (moving back away to give him breathing space) is the very action that triggers his abandonment fear. Consequently, as you move close to comfort him and assure him of your love, you eventually will start triggering his engulfment fear, making him feel like he's being suffocated and controlled by you.
Granted, he likely craves intimacy like other adults do but — due to his weak self-identity and lack of personal boundaries, he cannot tolerate intimacy for very long. He thus will start feeling like he is becoming enmeshed in your strong personality. Yet, as you back away to give him breathing space, you will find that you've started triggering his abandonment fear.
In my 15 years with my BPD exW, I found that there is no midpoints solution — between “too close” and “too far away”– where you can safely stand to avoid triggering those two fears. Until a pwBPD learns how to better regulate his own emotions and tame his two fears, that Goldilocks position will not exist. This is why a relationship with an untreated pwBPD typically is characterized by a repeating cycle of push-you-away (by creating fights over nothing) and pull-you-back (by love bombing you).
Indeed, even if you are sitting perfectly still and not saying a word, an untreated pwBPD who is experiencing hurtful feelings will project those feelings onto YOU. His subconscious does this to protect his fragile ego from seeing too much of reality — and to externalize the pain, getting it outside his body. Because that projection occurs entirely at the subconscious level, he consciously will be convinced that the painful feeling or hurtful thought is coming from YOU.
Hence, as long as you remain in a relationship with an untreated pwBPD, you will often find yourself hurting him — i.e., triggering his engulfment fear as you draw near, triggering his abandonment fear as you draw back, and sometimes triggering his fears even when you are sitting still and saying absolutely nothing. At least, this has been my experience, Bubb.
Absolutely not enough info. Also what do you do for work and how could this possibly effect that. You’re going to need to give a lot more info. Too vague
“Time to fill those cavities”