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I’m just trying to be as positive as possible — is there any chance that he developed the kink after meeting you? Like could he be looking for sexual content that reminds him of you, rather than marrying you because you satisfy a kink?
Either way, he’s sexualizing you in a way that makes you uncomfortable. But his motivation may be relevant in how you discuss this with him (if at all) and how much of a deal breaker it is.
Sadly, I don't think there is anything to salvage here. It's also awful that your wife (ex wife) wants to absolve herself of any responsibilities regarding your children. Why would you want to be in a relationship with somebody who doesn't respect you and is willing to walk away from her children? Both are clear signs of a lack of morals.
You need to protect yourself – seek advice from a lawyer and make sure you make any arrangements regarding the children while she's in this mindset of not wanting anything to do with them. You can always change this later if she changes her mind, but the last thing you want is for your children to become confused if she becomes difficult when she realises that this alternative life isn't what she envisioned.
I imagine she is probably spending a lot of her spare time seeking out other men, and has become enamoured with the idea of living the lifestyle of a single woman without having to consider the impact it might have on her family. She will probably realise the grass isn't always greener once she gets out there, but that isn't your problem.
I'm sorry this is happening to you – your wife sounds like a truly awful person. Make sure your children get the support they need too.
He's not pro choice then. Pro choice means he respects your bodily autonomy. Anything less than the full endorsement of your basic human rights is antichoice.
Routinely defacating toilet-clogging loads is not normal or healthy. I suggest that you recommend a medical visit for your husband. And possibly a change in diet to include more water and fruits and vegetables.
While you are at it, maybe discuss the hygiene aspect with him. This is extremely unsanitary and, frankly, revolting. You can show him the comments on this thread if you think it might help.
He is acting like a giant child about this issue. Why is “his” method so important to him? Why does he feel he needs to be “right” about this? Regardless, he is petulant and immature and treating you like shit. Something on his end needs to change.
Its not rocket science. She got jealous & possessive.