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I understand that she chose me. But her words and actions make me feel like she kinda just settled. Like “I can't be with her so I'll be with him” and it just makes me feel like an option and not truly valued and respected, if that makes sense. And when I tried to express my discomfort, I was blamed for it and made to feel like I was in the wrong. And that did really help those feelings
You say you have nudes of her. Does she have nudes of you?
All I can say is Oof. This hurts to read.
This is like the most brutal way to get friend zoned
This is a horrible thing to tell your SO…
He's creating insecurities that you never even had…
I'm an avid weightlifter and hip thrusts completely changed my body (small waist/ round bum) BUT I also love weight lifting… And it's made me feel strong and powerful.. but if a guy were to ever tell me “yeah but you'd be more attractive if you worked on your arms a bit more” I'd drop him in a second. I'm not a human canvas waiting for someone else to paint…. Or a painting waiting to be criticized.
I personally think this is borderline emotionally abusive and I would leave…
Op, time to hire a private investor.
Oh my goodness. You really did try–reaching out to the mom was lovely. To be honest, I'm judging him for (1) not even knowing what kind of cookies the kids made and (2) not doing it himself.
I don't see a failure to communicate on your part. I see a situation in which nothing you do is going to be “good enough” for him not to take it out on you when he's upset with something over which you have no control.
I'm sorry.
???? at no where did I see you say you were a lesbian, nor is that relevant to my comment lol. lesbian or not, my point still stands…
No where do I say accept anything. If anything, I say the exact opposite.
“Shut it down and keep a distance from him.”
also, basic grammar tip- u used quotes to quote me on something I didn't say/ word I didn't use.
its not rocket science on what to do. this is either fake or u needed the validation of an older rich guy hitting on u from random internet stranges.
He was being a creepy old flirt. Him saying he wanted to marry u, is not literally him wanting to marry u. its him trying to flirt and hitting on u, which is gross situationally in regards to age and positions and etc. Maybe u arent used to being hit on by anyone.. This is a simple shut case of, 'he makes me uncomfy and he's being inappropriate and creepy. I don't speak or entertain this person. and I move on with my life'.
Diet doesn't mean a limited calorie or food type intake by definition. It just refers to a curated meal plan.
Not to mention, itโs weird to request someone else go to therapy for something that might be there. This sounds like projection. She is worried about what her friend is telling her, and not appropriately processing her own feelings. Instead they are pushed onto OP. She is who should be seeking some therapy.
Iโd take some time to process this whole situation prior to making a decision. But this is not a healthy situation, or way to respond. Itโs understandable, but not healthy.
Gender is irrelevant. The two of you are logically in different life stages.
If he refuses help, there not much you can do. Be the casualty of their problems, or leave.
Update: It's been a week since I posted this and I was able to build up the confidence to confront Joshua. It didn't go as badly as I thought, he didn't realize just how much of a burden he had been putting on me with all the housework. It may take some pushing but I think he'll start to do a more balanced share of the work around here. I did bring up couple's counseling/therapy and as suggested by people here I did try to push for non church affiliated counseling but that's something that Joshua couldn't accept. I'm at least glad he agreed to some form of counseling. I'm hopeful that things could turn around and I could love him more again. I do however think the few of you who suggested it may have been onto something when you said Jess may be into me. When I told her we were trying to work things out and go to couples therapy she gave me the most unenthusiastic “I'm so happy for you,” that I've ever heard. I thought Jess would be more happy for me and I was heartbroken that she wasn't. She also gave me a hug when leaving which isn't unusual but it was oddly long, like at least 30 seconds. It's not something I would have normally read into as I didn't think there was any possibility of someone I knew being like that but after the comments left here I realize that maybe there is a possibility. As for my thoughts on Jess after this, I'm not sure how I feel, I mean she's great and I adore her but I don't think these thoughts are romantic, especially now that I'm annoyed with her for having not been a supportive friend to me this week.