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This sounds emotionally exhausting.
Can you imagine how much worse it could be in person?
His demands and expectations aren't even healthy.
While the projection thing is very real, my gut is telling me your boyfriend is ridiculously inexperienced with relationships and women in general. I know other people are telling you to ditch him but in this case I'd say go a little easy on him. calmly explain to him that the relationship will not work if he continues to get angry over very insignifigant little things. Be very clear that you will straight up curb him if this behavior continues. Then see if he makes an effort to chill the fuck out. If he can't, get on out of there. It sounds like he's super into you, maybe he's into you enough to learn to respect you.
Yes, that's what I was thinking too. Solid boundaries are a relatively healthy coping mechanism.
The more people you talk to the more you opportunities you have. Don’t be afraid to get out there!
That is terrible for you . Please do not waste your life in a sexless , loveless marriage . Look up the TED talk on sexless marriages. Is he still jacking himself off to porn? If so, that’s likely THE problem!
go ahead – ask away
That makes it worse – clearly she has enough power in their dynamic to still be able to see other people if she wants, but he isn't willing to give you that power.
I promise you – this is not a healthy dynamic and won't end well. Just don't.
I think the main problem here is that most good men really want to please their woman so he probarbly took this very personal.
As for the porn addiction. The usual way of working with problems like this in a couple is to start of with him just touching you. It could be a massage or oral, depends on your situation, but just try to reflect on where your mind are while beeing caressed. It's common to either have a naked time focusing (porn is easier to focus on) or not getting mentally turned on enough. Both is something that you can practice on.
As for the part where you masturbate the same way all the time. It's also is usually possible to let go of that by relaxing and working with focus or mindfulness in other positions.
Honestly speaking, I can see us dating if I wasn't already in a relationship.